The Blunt Force Trauma of Suzumiya Haruhi
by Durandall
Summary: A sudden blow to the head can make for some stunning insight. This is the story of Haruhi, after she finds out what she truly is. And how she deals with it. Or doesn't, as the case may be. Poor Kyon....
1. Prologue

The Blunt Force Trauma of Suzumiya Haruhi

Prologue: In which the world ends.

A 'Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' fanfiction.

Note: This fic is probably an AU, since a good chunk of it is based off of speculation. It takes place after episode 13. I haven't read the manga (yet), though I did read the first six chapters of the novel (good stuff!). I'm saying [spoilers] anyway, though, since [exacting speculation] seems a bit presumptuous, even for me.

DannyCat gave me a lecture that didn't make any sense about chronology and some other stuff, I guess in his attempt to emulate Yuki. To make things clearer, this takes place after all we've seen up to episode thirteen, including what's obviously past episode 13 itself.

Disclaimer: The novel 'Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu'/'The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. I do not know the producers yet, but the animation company responsible is Kyoto Animation. No disrespect is intended by the posting of this fanfiction, as I do not own the characters or settings involved. I'm merely dabbling with another set of paints. )

* * *

I am running down the hallway connecting the old clubhouse to the school proper. Koizumi is right behind me, and Asahina-san and Yuki-san are following. We are told not to run in the halls, of course, but I think we can get away with it.

We are, after all, saving the world.

Again.

Haruhi, why can't you just be satisfied with a normal life? It really would be easier if you were to settle down with a normal boy, go on a few dates, and maybe.... Nah. She's not the type.

It occurs to me that I could be too complacent about these things when Yuki-san announces, "I have finished my analysis."

I could push on after that brief sprint, and then go up the stairs to where Haruhi -- probably -- is, but I've always been the type to see what information could be available first. Especially when Haruhi is involved. So we stop.

"What do you have?" I ask, when Yuki-san simply stands there and says nothing else. Asahina-san tries to catch her breath, fussing with her maid's uniform. Koizumi simply studies his cell-phone, presumably looking for a text message or something from another member of the Agency.

"This notebook is a lure manufactured to induce a reaction in Suzumiya Haruhi which will destabilize the balance between herself and her surroundings," Yuki states. She is holding the notebook that we found in the clubroom after Haruhi abruptly ran away. After an awkward moment of silence, she adds, "By exciting Suzumiya Haruhi, the content of this data transmission is geared to manipulate her reactions to achieve the most chaotic and abrupt, but also flexible formation of data possible. In this way, it is anticipated that the target of the transmission will be able to contain the unique data that are present within both Suzumiya Haruhi-"

"Enough, Nagato," I tell her. Koizumi shakes his phone with a frown. "What now?"

"Well," he says, looking up and offering his familiar, phony grin, "we are seeing a previously unprecedented level of closed-space formation. If Nagato-san's information is accurate, we may already be too late. You may need to resort to that method to resolve this, again."

I look to Asahina-san next, standing there with her eyes darting back and forth between the three of us nervously. "I don't know what it is," she says with a quick shake of her head. "I...I've been good."

Oh, what a silly thing for her to say. 'Good,' she says, doing what Haruhi wants. Then again, it does keep Haruhi from reshaping the world, so that's certainly not a bad thing. Well, I guess she has it right, then. Asahina-san is too cute to be wrong about something like this.

Which, of course, begs the question: "Do you know anything else about this from your superiors?"

She gives me a weak grin, but still a radiant one. "I'm afraid that's classified information."

So, that incident, which Asahina-san herself warned me about ... well, no. It was an Asahina-san from another time-plane. Or the future. I'm not really sure I understood her explanation. I was warned, though.

And when Haruhi thought she found what she was looking for once, she came closer than she thought. Too close, as it turned out. What ended up happening next proved beyond all doubt that Haruhi could be dangerous.

Luckily, she thought the entire thing was a dream, or just her imagination. Though, I had to do something terrible to resolve the situation.

'Snow White,' indeed.

Why can't she settle down with some boy, and just harass him, anyway?

Oh, well.

"So, Nagato, I don't suppose you have a simpler explanation, or maybe just a suggestion?" I ask in irritation.

"It would appear that the other data entity has decided to awaken Haruhi to her data creation faculty," Nagato explains, holding up the notebook again. "It is written in such a way that the transmission of data-"

"Yuki-san, please summarize," I interrupt her.

"Yes." A momentary pause. "The book will grant her the realization of her powers. She may do something irrational."

"Are we in danger?"

"Yes."

"Is the whole school in danger?"

"Yes."

"And I suppose, if I ask about the whole world-"

"Yes."

"She's right," Koizumi says, his expression grim. "I think we need to do something, and soon."

I sigh and hang my head. "Again," I mutter. "Okay, I guess we'd better go in and see what's going on."

Those words are easy to say. After everything else we've been through, it's even easy to believe it will be that simple to resolve.

However, when we get to the rooftop, I see Haruhi on her knees. The other data entity that Nagato warned me about is gone. Haruhi looks up, though her back is turned. From here, I recognize the silhouette of her hair, and her signature (now) yellow headband.

Her hair is shorter than it used to be, but it still waves in the breeze that wafts over the building. I see something that I immediately don't like, and begin thinking of the notebook that Yuki-san has already gone through.

Haruhi is holding extra pages, which appear to have been torn from a notebook. I have the uneasy sensation that something is very wrong when I hear a sob from the girl who has her back turned to us.

'No, Haruhi,' I want to say. 'I don't know what you're doing, but....'

Then the other entity appears. This is none other than Taniguchi, the same one who walked in on Yuki-san and myself after the unfortunate incident with Ryouko. "This is close enough to the clubroom," Koizumi whispers to me suddenly. "I expect that I could draw up to thirty-five percent of my strength here."

Always, of course, it seems that the decisions fall on me. Well, after that island incident, anyway.

"That," Taniguchi says, leaning against a barrier of shimmering light that suddenly appears next to him, "is your current singular limitation." Then his attention shifts to me. "I have learned from the mistakes of Ryouko. An unstoppable chain of events has been set into motion before I appeared to confront you."

"Why aren't you saying anything?" I ask Yuki-san. "Is he a subordinate, also?"

After a pause, Yuki-san's emotionless answer is, "He is from another faction. Violent opposition was always a potential risk. I believe you were aware of that."

Asahina-san swallows and whimpers uneasily. Taniguchi doesn't seem to put any effort into it, but the barrier behind him sweeps around us, enveloping us within walls. I really am getting too complacent, I guess. I didn't even think about it; they shimmer and sparkle, intersected with seemingly randomly etched arcs and lines, smooth and refined. Yuki-san would probably say they were made out of pure data, if I were to ask.

All the more reason not to.

But I'm not panicking; I'm trying to take stock of the situation. Koizumi might be able to stop Taniguchi. Yuki-san almost certainly could, and with both of them together....

I have yet to figure out how to explain this away to Haruhi. Simple facts like Yuki described to me shouldn't have the effect that they do on the girl; she's certainly never been concerned with logic or reason before. I'm certain those pages that Yuki-san has not yet seen contain the real truth of this matter.

There seems to be no choice to avoid revealing Koizumi's powers. And Taniguchi's are already identical to Yuki-san's, so she won't be seeing anything new there.

Though....

I glance back to Haruhi, concerned. She's got one hand raised, staring at it, and then looking to the walls of the prison that contains us. Taniguchi is warily watching us, not moving to attack first.

Reasonable, considering that he's outnumbered. And he knew about the fact that Yuki-san deleted Ryouko. As I watch, Haruhi begins to glow faintly, then shuffles around, still on her knees, to look back at us.

Sorry, Haruhi. Hopefully this can be another bad dream, huh?

"Now it's time," Taniguchi says sadly, offering a regretful smile. He raises one hand with a sudden jerk, and bright bolts of force explode from his hands like lightning, raining down on the shuddering shield of power that Yuki-san assembles before me at the last instant.

Asahina unleashes a keening wail of terror and clings to my arm, while Koizumi looks at me expectantly. "Go," I say, nodding at him. Enough is enough; I don't want to be killed by anyone, human or otherwise.

"Fuumofu!" Koizumi exclaims, lobbing a sudden, brilliant sphere of crackling red energy at Taniguchi.

The boy deflects it with one hand; it explodes through a wall, which briefly shows the interior of a distant museum. Then it shows the depths of outer space. I look away from the gap. Yuki-san is moving towards him quickly, apologetically explaining, "I have already requested the nullification of your data link."

"I am aware," Taniguchi replies, smiling sadly as he falls to the defensive, blocking all of Yuki-san's further attacks. The places where their attacks intersect make wavering, brilliantly visible distortions in the air, almost blinding in their intensity.

Koizumi lines up his 'Third Raid,' and an explosion of angry fire blows out another one of the walls, revealing shifting, raw chaos behind it. For a moment, it's the static of a poorly received television screen, then it's a paper-thin scroll of words printed on glass, one atop another. An instant later it's a sprawling field of lilacs.

The very familiar discomfort of my last encounter in this space returns, the more damage we do to the arena. It is very simple to understand Asahina-san's fright, so it's no great surprise that my arm goes around her.

"I will be successful," Taniguchi informs Yuki-san in a polite tone of voice.

"Backups are already being retrieved to overwrite the discrepancies in this sector," Yuki-san replies. "You have only a very slim chance at success."

"And there it is!" Taniguchi exclaims, a slew of bolts flying in every direction. Koizumi raises some kind of shield at the last instant-- I didn't know he could do that!-- but slides backwards looking drained. Yuki-san works furiously, her body going as quickly as her mind, and deflects everything headed towards Haruhi with carefully placed force-walls. She doesn't protect herself, though, and her body is quickly riddled with bloody tears.

Asahina-san shrieks and clings to me even tighter, and then I see a final bolt headed towards her. Wait, that can't be right. Those bolts should be much too fast for me to react to. Even as I throw Asahina-san to safety, taking the bolt myself, I see Haruhi staring at me, her eyes filled with tears.

"Why?" she asks, just before the world goes away.

* * *

Notes: This was originally written before the final episode had aired.

Kyon's 'voice' comes from the novel more than the anime, for those who haven't read the novel yet.


	2. Chapter 1

The Blunt Force Trauma of Suzumiya Haruhi

Chapter one: In which our narrator experiences some changes.

A 'Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' fanfic.

Note: 'The Rise of Endymion' is borrowed from Dan Simmons, but is only alluded to; our narrator finds it an interesting metaphor for his own situation. I really enjoyed it, but it is not required reading to understand this fic.

Disclaimer: The novel 'Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. I do not know the producers yet, but the animation company responsible is Kyoto Animation. No disrespect is intended by the posting of this fanfiction, as I do not own the characters or settings involved. I'm merely dabbling with another set of paints. )

* * *

I awake in a hospital.

This is something I don't remember happening before. I feel fine, though the last thing I can recall is Haruhi on the roof, and-

I sit up quickly and look around. Asahina-san is sitting in a chair by my bed, dozing off, a book in her lap. It is 'The Rise of Endymion', by Dan Simmons. This is the same book that Yuki-san once gave me to read.

That puts everything else back together for me. First of all, I am wearing proper clothes, and not a hospital gown. They are pajamas, on closer inspection. That doesn't seem too bad.

These clothes have no holes in them, and neither do I. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised at this point. Yuki-san mentioned a backup, so could that have been it?

She simply undid everything to a point? I don't know if she could do that. It seems possible, I suppose.

But then, why am I in a hospital room with a casually dressed, sleeping Asahina-san?

Or is it better to enjoy this situation without questioning it? No, this is not right. If it were a fantasy, I would have done something incredible to fight against Taniguchi. I would have protected her, and out of gratitude....

But maybe this is a fantasy anyway?

"Asahina-san?" I ask cautiously.

She starts awake and rubs at her eyes tiredly. Haruhi is right. She's very cute.

"K...Kyon?" she asks in surprise.

Hah. Even in my fantasy she uses my nickname. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. My imagination can't overcome Haruhi's amazing will, hmm?

"Should I be someone else?" I ask.

"N...no!" she says, shaking her head rapidly, leaping to her feet and putting her hands up into fists, which she cutely holds beneath her chin, hunching in on herself. "Of course not! I just.... You're awake!"

"Shouldn't I be?"

"N...no.... I mean, well, yes, but...."

Ah, Asahina-san. So much nervous stuttering. I suppose this is where she explains that I did something noble for her, and she wishes to reward me for it. It must be that I'm merely being efficient, and this is why I don't recall it. Her summary will be swifter, I am sure. Why else would I be in a hospital bed with no injuries?

I smile at her. "Well, it seems to be okay now, right?" I flop back onto my bed before I frown. The bed is awfully tiny for a fantasy. Then again, I suppose a smaller bed might mean that we'd--

I have to keep my mind on track. Haruhi did something, and thanks to Taniguchi, it could be serious. I know Asahina-san is limited in what she can tell me, thanks to the hypnotism that her superiors impose, but surely she can offer me some information.

"Y...yes...."

"So, what happened?"

"You got hit by a truck," she blurts out suddenly. "You.... You hurt your head. Very badly. You were ... um ... delusional for a while."

I sit up straight again and raise my hand to my scalp cautiously. I feel stubble, no more than, perhaps, two centimeters long. "You're kidding?" I ask, indeed feeling faint lines and ridges of scars across my head.

Thankfully, I still don't have it in me to be shocked. As I recall, only ten minutes ago I was watching an esper and two data entities fight it out, while a high school girl with the ability to rearrange reality to her whim realized who she was. The time traveler was hanging onto my arm, as she is not typically a combatant.

"N...no. There were ... fragments of your skull ... um ... in your brain." She swallows. "We didn't.... I.... That is...." She smiles then, brightly, unshed tears shining in her eyes. "I should call a doctor. Or a nurse, but.... Oh, Kyon! I've missed you so much!"

Before I can say anything else, she rushes across the room and throws her arms around me in a hug, crying softly into my shoulder. I feel sad that she's upset. I'm also anxious to understand what she said; what did Haruhi do, after all? But for the moment, I just enjoy the sensation of Asahina's soft embrace.

Ah, but we can't have that, I recall. Even if I was misbehaving when we encountered Taniguchi. Oh, that's an unpleasant thought for this idyllic situation. What happened to Taniguchi? Or Yuki-san, come to think of it? And Haruhi?

I suppose Koizumi was there, too. Better wait on asking those questions a bit.

A doctor bustles into the room holding a clipboard and exclaiming. At this point I see I have woken up in the middle of the night; the window wasn't visible until the door opens. Wait. A doctor?

Bad enough I think about Haruhi when I'm trying to enjoy a fantasy of Asahina-san, but why such a morbid and odd one? And why would I interrupt such a prime interlude with a stodgy old doctor?

I am suddenly not liking this very much at all, though I am still enjoying the sensation of Asahina-san clinging to me. I think she must be enjoying it, too, since she doesn't let go. It does help, I suppose, that I am hugging her back. Curse you, willful hands! Stop trying to creep down to her skirt! This is no fantasy after all, is it?

"Yes, well," the doctor says, before coughing very loudly a few times to get Asahina-san's attention. She reluctantly releases me, and I admit a share of reluctance of my own. But this is important, after all.

Still, I'm feeling numb and struggling to put things together. The doctor very politely explains what happened to me; four years ago, I got into an accident. I was brain damaged -- was. He stresses this, and you had better believe that I pay attention.

Anyway, he says that I behaved normally for the most part, but had odd memory issues. My short-term memory was deteriorating, though it appears that I was able to retain much of what I learned. I simply couldn't remember interactions with people well. And that worsened until a medical scan showed a large spike of bone sinking into my brain.

What a chilling thought that is.

They operated, as my memory was getting worse and worse all the time, and managed to remove the shard. An experimental therapy had been tried to see if they could regenerate any of the nerves in my brain, but the operation had every possibility of leaving me a vegetable.

I don't feel like a vegetable. I feel unsettled. I want to immediately laugh and say, "Ah, that Haruhi. Look what she's done now. I imagine there's all kinds of problems to deal with, huh?"

And maybe a while ago, it was fun.

I mean, a few hours ago, from my frame of reference, and I was a healthy, normal guy. Probably the most normal person of all of the people I normally hung out with, especially considering that Taniguchi is part of the complexity that is Yuki-san's backers. But this....

Was it a dream? Like I once convinced Haruhi that something _she_ saw was?

Vastly unsettling.

Tears still in her eyes, Asahina-san tells me she has to go, but she will come back tomorrow. She gives me a shy smile and makes me hang on to the book, promising she'll read me another chapter later.

I can only nod when the doctor suggests that I sleep.

I try, after they're both gone. But I spend an awful long time staring at the ceiling and thinking.

By the time it's morning, I'm not feeling particularly rested, but I have at least made a decision. I can't discount what I remember of the last sixteen years of my life. Oh, it's almost seventeen now. Mustn't forget.

Anyway, all of those memories are too bright and vivid to have been my imagination. Aren't they? And if they are a delusion, they certainly seem a harmless one. I never did anything, after all. Nothing violent or dangerous. If I was seeing things, or just put together scenes out of my imagination ... I don't think I did anything wrong.

Though, when Asahina-san comes in after a nurse brings me a terrible breakfast, I'm surprised. I would have expected her, of course, but today she brings my mother and my sister with her. My sister is a little fireball of excitement, hurling herself into my chest, blasting the wind entirely out of me. But she's sniffling and tearfully tells me how much she's missed me, and how worried she was, and how happy she is that I'm back, and.... I can't be angry at that face, those tearful eyes.

Ah, little sisters.

Mother cries too, a little bit. "I heard," she says, nodding tersely. "But.... To see you up again after you ... lapsed into your coma ... it just warms my heart!"

"I feel glad to be back," I say, wondering why Asahina didn't bring along anyone else. Could it be that without me, Haruhi's gotten bored, and then forgot I was even there? That's just like you, Haruhi. Bad enough you make me do all the work, but to forget me?

But what can I say about that without sounding whiny? Oh well. Once again, she wins. Still, I have Asahina-san, it seems. Koizumi's not lurking ominously overhead to warn me about closed space. Yuki-san isn't explaining anything about luminous clusters of thought entities and data patterns. Asahina-san has not once said anything about information being classified.

I still don't think the entire thing was in my head, though. Did Haruhi change the world to be like this? For me to get in an accident? But no; the date is wrong. It is only the day after we would have confronted Taniguchi. Too much simply doesn't add up.

Still, the doctors give me a clean bill of health, and I'm allowed to see a mirror. My hair is pitifully short, but just long enough to conceal the tiny network of scars that I could feel previously. The doctors pridefully tell me that those scars will actually vanish very quickly, thanks to modern medical technology. Well, they say they put my brain back together; why shouldn't I believe them? Aside from the obvious reasons, anyway.

Asahina tries to read me a chapter of the story, but it's complicated, and my sister keeps asking questions. And I never liked science fiction as much, once I started living it. Still, it's Asahina-san who reads it to me, so I enjoy it.

My mother takes care of the paperwork, and I'm allowed to leave.

Just like that, I get to walk out of the hospital.

Oddly anti-climactic for such an operation, I think.

Mother's got an errand to run, so takes a taxi into the city, but kisses me on the cheek before she leaves. How embarrassing; right in front of Asahina-san. But she only giggles at that. My sister does, too, but when it's with Asahina-san ... I suppose I have to forgive her.

We take the train from the hospital back to my home. It's a longer ride than the one to the electronics store. Long enough that I'm surprised Asahina-san made the trek, all things considered. And of course, my sister falls asleep, lolled half into Asahina-san's lap. But that's just fine for the moment.

"Asahina-san," I finally ask, when we have something approximating privacy. Well, as much as you could on a train, anyway. "Could I ask you a question?"

"Of course!" she answers with a bright, cheerful smile. "Anything, Kyon-kun! Only ... please, call me Mikuru."

Ah.... I've been told that before. But Asahina-san is acting different now. Very well. It will be easier to think of her as Mikuru, and the one I remember as Asahina-san. So, Mikuru smiles at me.

Could it be that....

"Are we dating?" I ask her.

Mikuru's face darkens in a cute blush as she can't quite meet my eyes. "We ... were," she says hesitantly, worriedly. "Um ... before we found out about.... I mean...." Swallowing, she looks up at me again, eyes filling once more with those unshed tears.

I can hardly bear to look at her; I feel wretched for asking such a question.

"The doctors said you might not remember," she said quietly. "Do.... Do you remember anything?" Her look of devastation shifts quickly to one of hope.

I'd like to say, "Of course!" but if Haruhi has changed the world ... as I suppose she might be able to ... then perhaps I don't. And I don't want to lie to Mikuru, even if the truth will hurt her feelings. Well.... There is a neutral ground of a sort, isn't there?

"I remember," I say cautiously, looking down at my slumbering sister, "a day when we went for a walk. You told me about where you came from."

"I remember that, too!" she says excitedly. Well, of course you would, Mikuru. You didn't supposedly have brain damage. This seems to occur to her, and she blushes again. "Er.... Well.... What do you remember about what I told you of Hokkaido?"

Hokkaido? Asahina-san never mentioned Hokkaido. I suddenly realize that it is very convenient to think of Asahina-san and Mikuru as separate people. Because it becomes clear to me now that they might just be that.

Haruhi, what have you done?

"Well.... I remember the park," I say hopelessly. "We sat on a bench. Walked past a river." She bites her lip and looks away. Even though they are different girls, I share a bit of Asahina-san's past with me that should hold true for Mikuru -- if I know myself. "We didn't hold hands, but you took my arm. Is that right?"

She brightens and nods, and I know that at least I got that right. "Would you...." She trails off and makes an embarrassed noise before firming up her resolve and starting over. "Why not hold hands today?"

"Today?" I exclaim, drawing attention from those riding the train, who quickly glance at us, and then away in disinterest. Dropping my voice, and feeling my own face redden, I ask, "You mean ... to my house?"

My sister sits up and rubs her eyes sleepily. "Are we there yet?" she asks.

Curse the luck! We are, and that means I need to give an answer. Of course I want to say yes! This is Asahina-san! Only ... no, wait. It isn't. It's Mikuru. But then, are they so different? And if Haruhi has changed her, that's no reason for me to be mean to her.

Though, that chilling thought unsettles me. If only there were some way around this situation until I could figure out what happened-

"Kyon," complains my sister, "I'm tired! Hold my hand so I don't trip."

"Of course!" I answer, giving Mikuru an apologetic smile.

"I'll take your other hand," Mikuru offers.

"Yay!" exclaims a happy little sister, not knowing what she's just spared me. How ironic; I could have cursed that on any other day.

XXX

Sometimes, danger follows you home. Today, danger is the attractive and affectionate Mikuru. My girlfriend, I suppose.

What a sweet thought that is.

Let's spend a moment to savor it.

Ah, Mikuru-chan!

Assuming, of course, that Haruhi didn't just rewrite her mind or something terrible. Then again, since Mikuru is from the future, maybe something in the past altered how she grew up, and it was only a coincidence? Unlikely; I still don't know enough about things either way.

I would like to ask Yuki-san for her advice; I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be asking Mikuru, given what she's already told me. I suppose there is the possibility that what she's said is true. That I hit my head four years ago in an accident and just don't remember things right.

And that would make sense as to why Mikuru is so different from Asahina-san. The timing is right, too. I'm sure if I asked the date, my 'accident' would have coincided with the time that the others became aware of Haruhi. Which, of course, is when Haruhi had her own little traumatic incident.

Really, it's much more likely that the espers and thought entities were all just figments of my imagination. I've prided myself on my pragmatism all my life, knowing not to believe in Santa-san or the like. And if Haruhi _could_ rewrite a person's memories, why would _I_ still recall? So is the last year of my life a delusion? A lie?

Turning to look at Mikuru, playing cards with my sister, I have to think that it doesn't make sense. Why would I build up a delusional world like that? A world where Haruhi causes closed space when she sees Asahina-san getting closer to me?

Somehow, even though I don't think there's much logic to it, it seems that this world with a well-behaved sister and a too-friendly Mikuru is the lie. It's tempting to try and live it for a while. But if I go down that path, I might end up kissing Mikuru, and then I don't think I could turn back. Best take a stand and find out the truth of things before then.

Though.... We _are_ dating, so I suppose it wouldn't hurt if I-

No! I have to figure things out first. What a curse this is.

"I win!" my sister exclaims as Mikuru giggles at her loss. "Yay! Hey, Kyon, what are we going to do next?"

"I don't know," I say with a shrug. "Mikuru-chan, what do you want to do?"

"I don't know, either," she says apologetically. "But, why don't you two play together? Your mother will be back later, so I'll make you dinner." She doesn't wait for a reply, and just climbs to her feet and marches down the hall to the kitchen.

"Kyon, your girlfriend is the best," my little sister asserts.

Well, she could be wearing her maid uniform, I suppose, but....

Ah, this is going to be too much. "It would seem that way," I reply. "Let's watch a show."

I flick the television on, though it quickly bores my sister. The news seems normal enough. No signs of terror or impossibility emerge on the screen. The Tokyo Giants are not winning. The price of seafood hasn't gone down. And there's no mention of magical girls, time travelers, aliens, espers, shadowy secret agencies.... It seems calm enough to me, really.

Now, why would Haruhi rewrite the world in such a way? It seems so boring and complacent. I would have expected her to make a world that was full of explosions and colorful characters. This? This doesn't seem terribly different.

Well, except for my accident. I suppose there's two things I can start to investigate, given that I don't want to trouble Mikuru. Either I can try to find out what happened to me, to see if everything was just a dream on my part, or I can see what's become of Haruhi.

And that, I suppose, is what I will have to do.

But where to begin?

XXX

Mikuru is an adorable little angel. She smiles so cutely, and even though she's clumsy (still), she has such an innocent manner that I can't really complain about wearing the dinner I'd rather have eaten. Or would I? Can she actually cook?

It doesn't matter. I get laughs from my little sister, and before she gets tired enough to doze off again -- a temptation I would be hard-pressed to resist could occur then, mark my words -- my mother comes back home.

I suffer another embarrassing bout of being kissed on the cheek, to another giggle from Mikuru. After that, she goes home; naturally, I offer to go with her. My mother isn't certain I should be alone so soon after being released from the hospital, so she comes with us. We enjoy an awkward silence as we walk.

I never knew Asahina-san lived so close!

Or, well.... She might not, come to think of it. This is Mikuru, after all. She promises to come get me for school tomorrow morning, so we can walk together, then my mother takes me home.

I don't suffer any dizzy spells or collapse, or spontaneously bleed. Nothing else bad happens, either. It's certainly easy to think this is the false reality; my body isn't as weak as I would expect it to be if I'd been in a coma for a few weeks.

Not that I have any experience in this, I'll admit. But really, wouldn't there be more sign of it? And I'm pretty sure brain surgery doesn't work that way. Could I read a book about it, or would Haruhi have changed that, too?

Without being able to question Mikuru, who seems convinced of her history ... which matches my mother's ... all I have left to go on is Haruhi. If I'm going back to school tomorrow -- another oddity, given my supposed state -- I will see her then and try to make sense of it. Though, if she's forgotten about me ... or she's changed how she treats me, too....

Haruhi, why must you be such a bother?

XXX

It's nice to think that the world is now a better place. I am, after all 'dating' Mikuru. She meets me before my house as I step outside, and gives me that bright, winning smile. Then we walk, but fate is cruel; the terrible hill still stands between me and the school.

After so long, I've slowly become acclimated. Oh, vicious and wicked hill, thank you, I suppose, for hardening my body and training me, albeit very slowly. I'm getting used to it.

And really, I suspect that I should be more tired after being in a coma. Could it be that ... whatever else has happened ... Haruhi wanted my injuries to be minimal, and so, they were? This actually makes sense.

Thinking that, I almost miss the conversation that Mikuru tries to make. Namely, that she has made me lunch. I don't think I've ever actually tried her cooking before. Well, I know I haven't, come to think of it. Could Asahina-san cook?

I thank her, and the smile I give her isn't forced or fake at all, but she frowns slightly anyway. "Kyon," she says, "I think something is bothering you. You will tell me, won't you?"

"Ah, yes," I admit, looking up at the sky. Hey, it worked in our movie ... but the scene, sadly, doesn't change. Looks like it might rain later, though. Should have brought an umbrella. "I'm still adjusting, is all," I finally say, giving her a somewhat more false grin, hoping nothing of worry shows in my eyes.

She smiles back as brightly as ever. I never will get tired of her smiles, I think.... No, those are dangerous thoughts. Or are they, now?

Priorities, priorities. Save the world, and then maybe go on a date. Though, a date with Mikuru and no conversations about time-planes.... And no Haruhi.... Such bliss.

"Now you look happy," Mikuru says, satisfied. "And that makes _me_ happy!"

"Yeah," I reply, as the school comes into sight. I have bested you once more, terrible hill. A moment to pause and glance down at the city, savoring the daily victory. Ah, yes.

Bliss.

"Say, Mikuru-chan, are we in any clubs?"

She flinches slightly, then shakes her head quickly. "N...no. I mean.... I am. Um. But ... you weren't. You were in the baseball club for a while, and then, tennis, too ... but you dropped out of both of them."

Baseball? I'm not really that much of a fan. And tennis? That doesn't sound like me. "I did? I wonder why."

"Probably the same reason you dropped out of the literary club."

And ... that explains why Mikuru brought me that book.

"Ah," I reply to her not-really-an-answer. And it's not much of a clue, either. It's a hint, though. Maybe in my delusion.... But, I still don't think this is right.

"Well, you're a year above me, so I suppose we'll meet after class," I say, as we enter the locker room, and switch our shoes out for slippers. What's this? Notes in my locker. Several of them. Suspicious.

"What are those?" Mikuru protests instantly, since some of them are on pink scraps of paper.

"I assure you," I say solemnly, "I don't know." I snatch the first one and look at it.

Get well soon!

--Tsuruya-chan

Oh, well, that's no problem. Wait, she calls herself 'chan'?

Mikuru reads over my shoulder and relaxes, too, giggling quietly. "I'm sorry," she says. "I was just.... Well, you're right. But we're meeting for lunch! Don't worry; I'll come to you, okay?"

"Yeah. That's fine," I reply, taking all of the notes and putting them in my bag to look at later. "Take care, Mikuru-chan."

Another of those seemingly endless bright sunshine smiles is my reward.

I stare, while a few classmates comment:

"Hey! Good to have you back!"

"Doing well?"

"Nice to see you around again!"

All of them that refer to me, of course, call me 'Kyon'. Damn! Oh well.

Anyway. I plod towards my class, thankful for the mind-clearing distance between myself and Mikuru. It's severely tempting to give in and just date her. But I have to solve things. I share a class with Haruhi, so this should be simple, right?

I reach the landing on the stairs, and for a moment, everything around me seems to shimmer, shining slightly. I pause and look upwards. Above me, at the top, stands a familiar figure with hands on hips, balled into fists.

Haruhi stares down at me imperiously, blindingly radiant thanks to a shaft of sunlight spearing in behind me. She's too bright to look at initially, except her eyes. Those intent orbs stare right through me, and I can't look away. Is this the Haruhi I remember?

Then the moment passes, perhaps a cloud crossing the sun, and restoring things to rough normality. She blinks down at me, her hair done up in....

Her hair. It's long again, just like before I talked to her! And, and ... she's got to have it up in dozens upon dozens of ponytails, pigtails, little braids ... each of which is bound in its own color of hair tie.

"H...Haruhi," I stammer, my heart inexplicably skipping a beat. Perhaps parts of me realize how much danger I may be in. I can't bring myself to be more than wary, though.

She blinks again, her frown increasing. "Do I know you?" she asks.

"I'm-"

"Oh, right." Her eyes seem to dim, and she looks away, crossing her arms over her chest. "You're the head-injury guy."

Ouch.

"Well, welcome back."

Neither of us move, though I can feel seconds tick away.

Make that minutes.

Several minutes.

Why are we staring at each other in silence?

"Um," I say, wondering why words are coming so slow, "is something the matter?"

"My boyfriend's late," she says flatly. Then she sniffs. "He and I don't have a class together anyway. Come on, head-injury guy. We'll be late if we don't hurry."

"Right...."

So, we walk to class in an uncomfortable silence, and I can't help but stare at her hair. It's a huge mass of ... well ... hair. It doesn't seem right on her, somehow.

"Something wrong?" she asks, looking at me through eyes that narrow in suspicion.

"Uh, no," I say quickly. "I just forgot where I sat."

She snorts. "Whatever. Come on." She spins on one heel and marches away, hauling me by my wrist. This seems familiar.

I guess I don't have a choice but to follow. When we get to class, she points to my seat. Again, my excellent seat at the back of the class by the window ... well, almost. Haruhi still sits behind me.

Perhaps this is for the best, if my memories are not false. And perhaps I'm tormented by her, and it's merely the product of a delusion.

It would probably be safe to say I was tormented by her either way.

Haruhi seems to be herself, if only moreso. There's no time for idle conversation before class begins. Okabe-sensei's well-rehearsed million-dollar smile blinds the class, just like I always remembered, and he takes attendance. I turn to start talking to Haruhi during break, but no luck. She's already closing the door behind herself before I can finish the motion.

"Huh," I manage, instead.

Kunikida, a boy as average in apperance as I wish I was in reality, then approaches me. Sometimes, I envy him and his plain looks, slightly shorter than average height, and complete uninvolvement with Haruhi. Unaware of this, of course, he asks, "Are you feeling well now, Kyon?"

Not as well as I should, I think. "Yeah, thanks, Kunikida. Say, is Taniguchi around?"

"Who?"

That answers that question, I suppose. "Oh, it's not important. Say, can I ask you a question that may sound odd?"

"After that one?" He grins to show that it was a joke. "Sure, Kyon. You've always asked about strange stuff anyway."

Don't spread rumors like that, Kunikida. I still remember when you said I was interested in strange girls, like Haruhi. "Do you know why I dropped out of the tennis and baseball clubs?"

"Oh, well...." He trails off and looks thoughtful. "You left the baseball club because they were trying harder for Koushien then you wanted to."

"Ah, I see." Koushien? The national tournament? I know I've heard that it can be a gateway into playing professionally, but he's right; that's hardly something I'm interested in.

"But you could hardly go back to the tennis club after leaving them for the baseball club, could you?"

"That's true." Though, if I was any good, I think they'd take me back anyway. If I wanted to be in the tennis club, that is. Maybe that's his way of politely telling me I suck?

Further questions will have to wait. The next teacher arrives, just after Haruhi runs back into the classroom and reclaims her seat.

But when there's another break, I really don't know what to ask Kunikida about anymore. I just think that, 'So, did Haruhi rearrange reality that you've noticed?' would be a bad question. So we make small talk, and Kunikida tells me that things went pretty much as I remembered them.

Then I ask about the Culture Festival. Surely if Haruhi did anything, it'd come up there. It's the best way I can figure to find out without asking directly, anyway. But he just tells me it was great, and that Mikuru was really cute in a waitress outfit.

Well, I knew that.

I call that a loss. I have a mind to track Haruhi down, or just chase after her at lunch, but this plan falls short. Mikuru ambushes me in the hall. "Let's go eat together!" she chirps, as I watch Haruhi vanish through a far doorway, her hair waving behind her. I could swear I was shot a dark look before she disappeared, though.

"Yeah, sure," I agree.

"We'll have a picnic beneath a tree!" Mikuru gushes.

Of course, by the time we reach the front door to the school building, the sky is gushing, too.

I thought it looked like rain this morning.

"Oh," Mikuru says, glumly. "I.... Well, okay. Let's find an empty classroom."

"Okay." Empty classroom? These things do not happen when it is raining. So we eat in my own classroom, me getting envious stares from the male classmates. Kunikida in particular looks jealous, staring at his own lunch mournfully.

The meal Mikuru made was quite plain, but not bad. I thank her for it, and she gives me another of those stunning smiles. "I wish I could walk home with you after school today," she says. "But I have a club activity, and I missed a lot of it visiting you in the hospital."

"Ah, yeah. Thanks for that, by the way." And now, the cruelest thing I have ever done to myself. "Which club are you in, anyway?"

"Ah.... W...well.... It's...." Sudden nervousness? Now? "She calls it the SOS Brigade," Mikuru blurts out. "But mostly, we just read and play games."

"Oh? That sounds like fun." It's the SOS Brigade. This saves me the awkwardness of asking if Haruhi's involved. I already know she is. "Do you think I could join?"

"I.... I suppose...." She seems awfully hesitant to agree.

"We could walk home together afterwards."

"T...that's true," she agrees with a weak smile. "O...okay, then. You can ask Suzumiya-san."

XXX

I'm not at all surprised at the other club members. Koizumi, who looks more worn and less eternally happy than usual. Nagato, who looks almost exactly the same -- she's wearing glasses again, though. And, of course, Haruhi.

Haruhi still has her hair up in that ridiculous mass, too. Right now, she's giving me a doubtful, unhappy look. Mikuru looks very anxious, and asks, "So.... Can.... Can Kyon join our club?"

"Well," Haruhi says doubtfully, "we only need four people to make a club." Four? I could have sworn it was five, though, that didn't exactly stop Haruhi last time. "And, anyway, he's your boyfriend, Mikuru. Don't you think that will make Nagato feel awkward?"

"But ... but Koizumi-kun is your boyfriend!" Mikuru protests.

Haruhi actually looks disappointed at this. "Oh, right. Well, fine, then. As long as Nagato doesn't mind."

Yuki-san looks up from her book and blinks at me. Then she turns back to her book. "No complaint," she murmurs. How like her. She _did_ mention a backup. Obviously, I should be going to her for answers, and not Haruhi or Mikuru.

Or Koizumi, though.... What's this? Haruhi said she had a boyfriend. But it's Koizumi? Hah! Take that, Koizumi! Your smug attitude, and your 'I find Suzumiya-san quite charming' get you this! Haha!

Only ... I can't bring myself to really be delighted at that, even though he does look tired.

"Great," I say. "I'm glad to join your club. What do we do?"

Haruhi shrugs and turns around, sitting cross-legged on the desk that once housed a computer to face the window. Now there's no sign of her extortion of the computer club, though the other things she's dragged into the room are there. Except for the rack of outfits she made Asahina-san wear. There's still a pair of bunny-girl costumes: Haruhi's black one, and a smaller blue one. For Yuki-san?

There's a thought. While I ponder it, Yuki-san suddenly looks up and gives me a curious glance, though it's so brief I hardly notice it.

"Okay!" Haruhi exclaims. "Today is a self-activity day." She nods as though she's just come to the conclusion after careful debate. What, she can't even be bothered to make up an activity?

"Then," Koizumi says suddenly, "I would like to challenge the newcomer." This is it! Koizumi remembers! Now he's going to drag me aside and complain about what I've done to Haruhi! "Do you play Othello?"

...or not.

"Yeah," I reply. I can beat Asahina-san, and my little sister. I beat Haruhi once, before she decided that Othello was beneath her. But Koizumi almost always beat me. "Sure." Oh well. Maybe I can feel Koizumi out while we play.

Mikuru watches me for a moment, then turns to the Brigade leader. "Then.... Um, Suzumiya-san, should we play something else?"

"Chinese checkers," Haruhi decides after a moment. "I guess."

"Sounds more fun than hunting down rumors of mysteries," I mumble, going to the closet to get the Othello board and grabbing the Chinese Checkers from where they get stuck behind the other games. Hah, too coincidental. Everything is where I remember it, but I'm supposed to have never been in this club before? Something is certainly going on.

Mikuru slowly draws her breath in, eyes nervously flicking from me to Haruhi before she realizes I'm watching. Then she merely offers a bright grin. "Thank you," she chirps, taking the Chinese Checkers box and setting it up between herself and Haruhi.

"You know your way around well," Koizumi says after a thoughtful pause.

Well, why shouldn't I? Though, now that I think about it, I might come across as crazy if I tell everyone what I know. And it's certainly not the kind of thing I want to bring up in front of Haruhi. Though, shouldn't she already know? Best not to tempt fate. Or Haruhi.

"It, uh, seemed to make sense," I offer instead. "Black, or white?"

"Black," he replies.

Koizumi plays just like I remember, which is to say, he beats me. Haruhi and Mikuru look about equally matched. Yuki-san continues reading. After the first game, Koizumi and I play a few more, though I only beat him once. Really, I'm trying to figure out how to get everyone else alone to ask them the questions that I want to.

I'm not used to playing this side of the game, I guess. Usually it's, 'How can we keep Haruhi entertained', or 'How do we keep Haruhi from noticing?' I can't come up with anything until Haruhi makes a disgusted noise, declares Mikuru the winner, and announces, "And that's it for the day. Everyone can go home now."

Her attitude hasn't changed much, but where did her drive go? Maybe she remembers, after all? Mikuru giggles and says, "I'll meet you in the entrance, Kyon. I'll go grab us an umbrella."

I nod and watch her go. Haruhi grumbles and grabs the staff umbrella she keeps in the clubroom. "Come on, Koizumi. Let's go." Itsuki looks like he's going to say something, but then shrugs and follows.

It's just me and Yuki-san, now. Almost perfect, except.... Not quite as much privacy as I would like. "I have a book," I tell her after a moment, since she's still reading.

She looks up at me, eyes betraying no emotion.

"Um, it's called 'The Rise of Endymion'."

"Did you read it?" she asks.

I dig in my bag for it, spilling out all the notes I collected from my locker as I do so. One of them catches my eyes; it's an old bookmark. I stare at the bookmark that has fluttered to the floor, hand still in my bag. "No," I manage. "D...do you remember?"

"Read it," she says, turning back to her own book. I stare for a moment, then nod dumbly. The bookmark looks like Yuki-san's handwriting. It says:

Endymion's story contains the trigger to restore from backup. Read it.

A Nagato

'A Nagato'? So ... not the Yuki-san before me, then? "I will," I promise, meaning it this time.

"We can talk about it when you are done," she adds. "If you are still interested, since you quit the literary club."

Not the Yuki-san before me.

XXX

After walking home with Mikuru, I begged off studying with her (she has a different class, after all), and then immediately ignored my homework to read the book. It _is_ a monster.

It's also in first person.

I hate first person narratives. It's like some cheap trick, to me. But I struggle through a few chapters anyway. By the time I finish and put the book down, to my amazement, my alarm is about to ring. Did I stay up all night reading this story?

I have. After a while, I started getting interested despite myself. Raul Endymion protects a little girl and helps her grow up, realizing her power. Eventually, he is separated from her, but he manages to find his way back to her anyway, and then.... Well, it's complicated. But when I get dressed for school, the entire story is still bouncing around the inside of my skull.

Is this some kind of mirror of what's going on with me and Haruhi? Only in some ways, I suppose, though it's certainly worth thinking about. I didn't find any hidden messages from Yuki, but....

No. Mikuru meets me outside when I'm ready to head to school, but I can't get Raul's story to leave me alone. She made me lunch. But I'm still thinking of the fantastic things that Raul experienced on his journey -- things Haruhi would have loved to have known, I'm sure. Unfortunately, it is a science fiction story.

"It's sunny today," Mikuru says, reminding me of yesterday's walk through the rain, sharing an umbrella. Oooh, but that was dangerously enjoyable. Thankfully, Yuki-san's book is keeping me too busy to dwell on that. Also, I'm very tired, since I have not slept last night.

I doze off in class, and when I wake up, it's lunch. Mikuru wakes me up and drags me outside to enjoy a nice picnic. She doesn't try to feed me, and I don't try and feed her ... because I can't stop thinking of Yuki. If this was the backup restoration procedure, then whatever backup Yuki made should be finished, right?

How does that work, anyway? I get the idea that if I asked, she'd just say I wouldn't understand. Like time travel.

I can't pay attention to my meal, my head feels like it's going to burst. I can't pay attention to class, either. When it's over, I race to the clubroom, managing to reach it before anyone else. That's odd, didn't Haruhi and I leave class at the same time? Maybe she went somewhere else.

"Yuki-san," I begin, unsurprised to see her sitting there, reading as always, "I finished reading the book-"

"Tonight," she answers, not looking up. "My address is on the back." Of what, her bookmark? It doesn't matter; I remember where she lives.

"...ah," I manage. The club is a blur, even though this time Mikuru and I are playing Othello. She beats me, too. When class ends, I apologize to her and say, "I have to take care of an errand. I will see you tomorrow for the walk to school, okay?"

She looks doubtful, but nods, and that's that. I make myself go to a cafe and buy a cup of coffee to calm down. While I'm there, I flip through the notes in my book bag ... but aside from Yuki-san's warning, no other cryptic messages await me. Which is probably for the best.

After that, I flip through the book again, wondering how Haruhi and the girl Raul protected might be similar ... though, Raul's ward certainly seemed more likable and charming than Haruhi ever was. I make myself stop before I get pulled into the book again. I hated sci-fi ... maybe Yuki-san did something to this book?

Time to go find out.

XXX

Yuki-san's apartment is not as I remembered it. Now it's got furniture in it, aside from a single table and a tea set. A rather unused looking television sits in one corner, and several bookcases line the walls. Yuki-san kneels behind the table, and I stare at my teacup for a long moment before setting it down, untouched.

"So," I say, looking at her levelly. "I read it. Completely."

"Good," she says, the faintest hints of a smile coming to her lips. "What did you think?"

"Um.... If it was a parable, I don't think everything adds up," I finally say. Wait, we're just going to talk about the book? I thought we were going to discuss Haruhi! And what she did, of course.

"Parable?" She looks the slightest bit confused. "Ah. To Keats, you mean. The poet."

He was mentioned in the book, too, but didn't seem as important to me. "Er, no. I meant, well ... to us. And to Haruhi."

"What?"

"I mean.... I thought that.... Ah. Yuki-san, I don't know how this works. I know I'm ready to believe you fully, but how does a backup work, exactly?"

She stares at me like I'm some kind of idiot.

Maybe I am.

"Did you hit your head, Kyon?"

I rub my hand over my scars. "Somehow, I don't think so," I offer. "I think Haruhi just rewrote things to make it look that way."

Yuki-san blinks again and looks at me strangely. "If we're going to have secret literary club meetings, we should at least try and act like the literary club, not the drama club."

"Drama club?" I protest, the story bouncing around in my head still. "What the.... No! You left me a note that said the story was a backup, and I just had to read it...." Then I can't quite keep track of what's going through my head, or my mouth, and everything gets ... fuzzy. It's not an easy thing to describe; Yuki-san has told me about data entities, and I've seen her, I suppose.

But what happens next is easier to see than feel. Except that I'm feeling and doing it. Words and sounds escape my mouth, but I can't make sense of them or keep track. The things Asahina-san called incantations, and Yuki-san used to fight Ryouko, or how she granted the baseball bat a 'homing attribute'.

When I finish, everything seems the same, except for Yuki. The slight light of fear has vanished from her eyes, replaced with understanding.

"Ah," she says softly. "Thank you."

What just happened here?

She can read the question on my face and, for once, offers an explanation:

"In the event of Suzumiya's instability, no real space location would be safe enough to hide a backup within. Instead, a pattern of data was placed within you that would be triggered by my presence, privacy, and the data of the book you read. In other words, you were the medium on which I recorded myself before Haruhi changed the world."

Wait a minute! Did I just ... erase a Yuki-san? A normal girl? Did I just overwrite her like an old computer file!?

"Yes."

I didn't ask that aloud....

"No. I am written from your template, and will take some time to restore myself to full functionality. My data link is not complete. We are now in a hazardous situation."

"Well...." I might as well just say what's on my mind; she'll know anyway, but at least it will feel more natural to me. "What do you know, from what I've figured out, then?"

"Suzumiya has left holes and flaws in this world that will slowly consume it and cause it to collapse."

Just like Koizumi warned. Damn!

"Yes."

"So, things like ... aren't people supposed to be conscious when they have brain surgery performed on them? And shouldn't brain damage be harder-" This is where I stop talking, before I argue myself into being a vegetable.

Yuki-san removes her glasses and sets them on the table next to the teakettle. "You were healed because it seems that Suzumiya does not believe that a person who leaves a hospital should do so in anything other than perfect health. Though." She pauses. "The contents of the notebook should have alerted her to my identification. Instead of her realizing my existence, she recreated me as a normal human being with no special properties. This suggests to me that it is no longer her beliefs alone being realized, but her conscious desires."

"I don't quite follow that ... but then ... you mean that Haruhi knows what she is, and is intentionally making the world this way?"

"It seems likely. I will help you try and make sense of this world, but must also seek out a non-space alternative for backup. Taniguchi did not alert Suzumiya to the true nature of the thought entity. A human-contact purposed interface such as myself is expendable; the thought entity is not. Because of this, even though we are 'aliens' and may be a product of Suzumiya's will, the thought entity is entirely real. It does exist outside of traditional space time, and thus, it is immune to Suzumiya's will, until she becomes aware of it." She pauses. "I must also explain more of time travel to you."

"Eh? I thought you said I couldn't understand it!"

"You cannot, without further modifications. I have changed you as far as I am able at this node."

"Hold up! You _changed_ me?" I don't normally get freaked out, even when Haruhi collapses my world, but this is a major issue!

"Yes."

An awkward silence stretches. I drain my teacup. She refills it. "Well?" I finally ask. "What did you do?"

"I have made room for a backup of myself within your memories, so that you could restore me in the event that it becomes necessary."

"That doesn't sound so bad, then...." Still, a little warning next time?

"In addition, you may become more aware of the activities of agents of the thought entity."

"You mean ... human-contact purposed interfaces?"

"Those are included. You are aware of Koizumi, but you will also become more sensitive to the activities of his kind. I cannot give you any true powers or abilities, but I can give you awareness of them."

"...ah," I manage, staring into my teacup. "Thank you, but ... why?"

"You read the story."

I think about it. Aenea was Raul's Haruhi. Or maybe ... Aenea was Raul's Yuki-san. Oh. This makes sense in a different way. A leap of logic verbalizes itself: "You think the thought entity may want me destroyed."

Yuki-san inclines her head the merest distance.

"You're trying to give me something that will let me know when to run."

Again, that tiniest inclination of her head.

I feel dizzy.

"I will return to the thought entity in two days to report my findings and receive new instructions," she says.

So she's giving me a timer to learn how to use my new abilities before I may need to start running, eh? But how can I be safe ... unless I stay near Haruhi, I suppose. Wait! "But why didn't Haruhi change me? If she did, your backup would be wasted."

"You don't know?" Yuki-san asks, and there's the slightest hint of surprise in her voice. "No. I will tell you of time travel. Because of the nature of time travel, time-planes are independent, and causality does not necessarily cascade from one to the next in a linear fashion. Time is not directly linear, thus, changes in the past do not alter the future of a separate time plane."

"...right," I manage. This is sounding like Asahina-san's explanation. What a headache that was. I didn't follow it at all.

Her eyes narrow the tiniest bit. "Because of this, and the fact that Asahina-san was not explained in the notebook, she was not rewritten."

Wait. Mikuru _is_ Asahina-san? That.... "That doesn't make sense! Why would she be acting like this, then? Why would she claim to be my girlfriend?"

"Because it appears to be what Haruhi wants," Yuki-san replies levelly. "Changes Haruhi made to Asahina-san would not hold when she returned to her own time-plane, but Asahina-san would remember the attempted modifications anyway."

So, Asahina-san is actually safest from Haruhi, even though I've never seen her display any powers aside from foreknowledge. Oh, and time travel, of course. Somehow, this makes sense.

"Likewise, it appears that Koizumi was not rewritten either, though he is under the impression that only he was spared. He suspects you due to your actions in the clubroom yesterday."

"And the Agency may want me out of the way, too," I realize aloud.

That infuriating tiny inclination of her head again. "Ugh," I groan. On the bright side, Mikuru- No, Asahina-san- Wait.... Right the first time, I guess. Anyway, Mikuru is the one least likely to end up wanting me dead, and Nagato is on my side at the moment. "Okay. I need to find out what was on those pages that Haruhi read. Do you know what they said?"

"No."

"Can you find out?"

"Not at this juncture. We will need to find out what data could modify Suzumiya-san's behavior through an independent method."

"I still don't know why Haruhi didn't change my memories, or Koizumi's, though." Then something Koizumi once said comes back to me. Haruhi trusted me, he said. So.... "Do you think Haruhi ... believes in me? Enough so that she couldn't change my mind? So she set things up so I would think it was all a delusion?"

"This conforms to the theory that she is making conscious changes," Yuki-san agrees. "It also validates the suggestion that she has not yet fully realized her potential, and while her will can create new data, her beliefs supercede her desires."

Good. Good, indeed. "Do you think that Haruhi's belief can protect me?"

"Only from her."

Practical, Yuki-san. Very practical. "Ah. Well. This is something to think about."

She gives a fuller nod this time.

"I should go home and get some sleep, and think about this," I decide. I've got school in the morning, and I think it was only Yuki-san's backed up data in my head that was keeping me running. I rise to stand, and she does the same, walking past me to the front door and holding it open.

I stop in the doorway and turn to face her. She looks up at me, her glasses still sitting on the table. I'm not sure why I say it, but I do: "You still look better without your glasses." A tiny adjustment of her head -- is that a nod? Is she ducking her head in embarrassment? She's almost impossible to read, but ... I think there's warmth in those eyes. And sorrow.

My treacherous hands, able to resist Mikuru -- somehow -- finally break through their repression and I find myself hugging Yuki-san in the doorway of her apartment. She doesn't quite hug me back. Instead, she curls her arms up, pressing her hands flat against my chest, turning her head to one side and leaning against me. Her hair smells clean, and I feel her sigh. Contentment? Annoyance?

I can't tell, and I'm not sure I really want to know. Oh, well, I guess I want it to be the first one. But it occurs to me as I hold her, after all she's done for me before, and especially with the warnings she's given me -- warnings and help that could get her in vast amounts of trouble, when I stop to think about it.

"Thank you, Yuki-chan," I murmur to her. "I hope everything works out, but if it doesn't.... Well, thank you."

She makes an, "Mmm," noise, leaning against me a bit harder. Or is that my imagination? She's just like a doll; she might let me get away with anything. I'd better leave before I get myself in trouble. "Preserve your data," she murmurs, when I release her. Something has changed in her eyes, and that tiny hint of a smile remains on her face.

I hurry home and to bed.

* * *

Author's notes:

The Nagato Yuki fanboy in me demanded such an ending for this chapter.


	3. Chapter 2

The Blunt Force Trauma of Suzumiya Haruhi

Chapter two: In which our narrator talks with some friends.

A 'Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' fanfic.

Disclaimer: The novel 'Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. I do not know the producers yet, but the animation company responsible is Kyoto Animation. No disrespect is intended by the posting of this fanfiction, as I do not own the characters or settings involved. I'm merely dabbling with another set of paints. )

* * *

"What have you done?"

Again, this demand is asked with demented respect to personal space. Which is to say, it's not respected at all. "You're too close, Koizumi-kun."

The tousle-haired esper backs off, his smile gone. "I apologize. Now, what have you done?"

And how did we get here? Well.... After getting home late, I slept in, once more dragged out of bed -- little sisters can be quite useful, I suppose. Then I fell asleep at the breakfast table, until Mikuru came by and asked if I was feeling well.

After that we walked to school in our separate thoughts -- me wondering why she was pretending, and her, I suppose, wondering how much I knew. It was not as pleasant as it should have been.

When we got to school, everything proceeded as normal, except for me not having my homework. Well, sorry, Okabe-sensei. I put figuring Haruhi out as a more important task at that point. At lunch, Mikuru did not try to corner me as she had lately.

Instead, I was pulled aside by Koizumi and taken to the rooftop where we were unlikely to be interrupted. I know why, of course, thanks to Yuki. But, "People will get the wrong idea, Koizumi-kun."

He stares at me, bewildered. Then he reassumes his old expression, that confident glint in his eyes and the phony smile. "I see that you somehow made it, Kyon. I was worried, you know. A man with no powers, against Haruhi? You are very lucky."

It's not luck at all. "Don't I know it. Say. Do any of your powers still work? Is Haruhi still generating closed space?"

He nods brusquely. "More than ever," he admits after a moment, turning away. "It's been especially bad since ... we ended up in this new world. But when you joined our club, it got even worse. I think you may be a bad influence on Suzumiya-san."

"Are you jealous that your girlfriend pays more attention to me than you?" A low blow, I realize, but I'm not able to help myself.

Koizumi shoots me a dark scowl, which I appreciate. Genuine emotion from him seems rare; I prefer Yuki-chan's almost complete lack to his fakery. And knowing that Yuki-chan is watching over me for now also lets me provoke Koizumi more than I would usually. Though, I should probably get to the point; we do have a problem to take care of.

"How much of your Agency is intact?"

"None of it," he replies blithely. "There are still espers in this world, but they are a separate group, which I am not part of. Let us call them the Coalition. They allow me to fight alongside them, but see me as some kind of rogue agent. Haruhi preserved me and my status, for some reason, but not any of my colleagues."

This sounds honest. And while he gives fake emotion, I've never known Koizumi to actually lie. Well, except for the murder-mystery on the island, but that was something of a special occasion. "Ah. I suppose you don't know anything about the Coalition?"

"They don't trust me very much, but I've only known them for a few days," he says with a shrug. "Maybe later. For the time being, I know that they suspect me of interfering with Suzumiya's emotional state. I think they only tolerate me because I have the same powers some of them do, and fight the Celestials in closed space with them."

"Ah," I say. "Before everything happened, Nagato told us what the notebook was supposed to do."

"But it was missing pages, and the Yuki-san we have here doesn't have Nagato's powers," Koizumi warns me. Wrongly, of course, but I decide not to reveal that trump card just yet. "Asahina-san may know more, but she's playing a strange game."

"Yes. Well, I'll talk to her tonight. It's the missing pages I'm worried about. What could have made Haruhi want you as a boyfriend?" For an instant, I think Koizumi actually looks hurt! Nah.... Must be my imagination. He's just tired from fighting Celestials.

"What did you do to make her give up on you?" he counters.

Neither of us are particularly pleased with one-another just now. We've never been truly adversarial before, and even if Koizumi did want to get rid of me, his powers don't work in normal space. And the Coalition is not the Agency. Won't that be a pain.... Well, if all goes well, the Coalition will be erased, and our old world will come back.

This is the only way I can really cope with having erased a copy of Yuki. I'm not sure how ready I am to actually try and destroy this world to restore the old one. But this one is falling apart, slowly but surely....

"That's a good question to ask," I say, instead of what I feel like saying. 'Hey! Take that back!' or 'What do you mean by that?' are responses I'd like to throw at him. But it is a mystery. Haruhi always resented Mikuru and I being close. Why would Haruhi make me Mikuru's boyfriend?

"I thought so," Koizumi says softly, smiling again as he relaxes into his mask.

I turn my back to him and stare at the sky. "Is your girlfriend looking for you?"

"We hardly seem to be dating," Koizumi says after a moment. "It seems really more like a name to call one-another. We don't walk home together. She never brings me lunch. We don't hold hands. We don't actually go on dates."

I'm not sure why I feel relieved at that. "So she didn't change herself," I say. "Except for her hair."

"That ... puzzles me," Koizumi allows. "I think it means something, but I'm not sure what."

I could guess, but it would just be a guess. I'd rather exchange my notes with Yuki-chan, even though.... Maybe that's not such a good idea. Koizumi is a no-risk alternative. "I never told you how I got out of the space that you met me in, that night, did I?" I say, looking at him over my shoulder.

"I can guess," he says after a moment. "Asahina-san said it was her fault, and mentioned ... well ... Snow White. The old Yuki-san said Sleeping Beauty. You woke her with a kiss, right?"

"Yeah," I say, frowning. There's more, there, but first: "Have you tried kissing Haruhi?"

His smile vanishes and he looks away. I'm hard pressed not to grin.

"Didn't work, huh?"

"No," he says flatly, rubbing at his jaw. "It did not."

"Anyway," I continue, looking back to the sky. "When we were in that space, I told her I liked how her hair was, once. In a ponytail. The next day, after I woke up in bed, knowing it wasn't a dream, but wishing it was, she wore her hair in a ponytail again."

"Ah? But now her hair's just a ... a mess," he says, shaking his head. "What do you suppose it could all mean?"

"Let's go back to your terrible speech in that car ride," I suggest. "You said, 'How can we tell the world wasn't created three years ago', right?"

"That's close enough," he allows.

"Well, now we know this world is only five days old. But we have only our memories to tell us this is true. Your Agency is gone. My foundation for understanding Haruhi -- she cut her hair when I noticed it -- is likewise gone. The Yuki-san in this world when we arrived was not our human-contact purposed interface. Asahina-san's memories would have been erased, if she weren't from an alternate time-plane, or if Haruhi understood time-travel better. Only your memories and mine should have remained intact."

"Are you saying ... this world isn't so bad? If we can't anchor what was to what is, we should let go?" Koizumi asks.

"Hardly. And aren't more and more Celestials showing up?"

"Yes," he admits. "But Suzumiya-san has no knowledge of them; we could use them as a gauge to verify that our world was real, too."

"That's true. And there's more," I add. "I won't give away all of the secrets, but I think we believe in the old world. We know it was real."

"Of course. So Suzumiya-san's hair is longer because it would be impossible? And it's so ... wild ... so we can't ignore it?"

Hey, if you throw enough clues at Koizumi, he can build a pretty good hypothesis! "Yes," I say, nodding, even though I had no idea where I was going. But he likes those long speeches with big words; trust him to get something useful out of it.

"I have to think on this further," Koizumi finally says. "I do want to warn you, though.... The Coalition may see you as a danger, because of the instability you are causing in Suzumiya-san." Like the Agency might not make the same claim?

"I thought so," I say with a shrug. "Come on. Let's get something to eat. We'll talk tomorrow, after the club meeting." Which, unfortunately, coincides with the end of my window of protection from Yuki. Well, I'll have until the evening, and then maybe I can get Koizumi on my side ... and in the meantime, Mikuru-chan and I will have a talk on the way home.

XXX

Another day of playing in the clubroom. It used to be that playing games and hanging out with people I considered friends was my favorite part of the Brigade. But now?

Yuki is reading her book -- this time it's something called 'The Cryptonomicon' -- and may become a potential enemy.

Koizumi is staring at the Risk board between us in determination. He's already my enemy. He just took all of Europe. But even beyond that, he may turn against me. I think he'll support the Coalition over the Brigade, unless I can convince him that I can get everything changed back. And depending on how things go, I may anger them a whole lot before I can figure things out.

Mikuru is marshalling her forces in Australia, but has such a pitiable defense that she won't last. And she's also keeping the truth from me. I'm not sure I can blame her, or that she's an enemy. It seems to me she really is an observer, and more of one than Yuki. It also seems that she's trying to avoid the truth because she wants to make Haruhi happy. And defend me, of course.

"Okay," Haruhi declares, as her forces storm across Mikuru's front lines with the tossed dice. "This territory will be mine!"

And Haruhi. The cause of this, and probably the answer, too. Though, I don't want to play with fire right now, so I'll let sleeping Brigade chiefs lie. Until I don't have another choice, but by then, I'm sure I'll be forced into it.

Mikuru manages a whimper as her territories begin to slip. I fortify my position in South America and battle Koizumi on another front for control of the North, but there's no way I can reach Mikuru in time to try and help. And she's supposed to be protecting me?

Oh well.

The game doesn't last much longer.

Koizumi and I are evenly matched, until Haruhi begins to assault his rear flanks; he falls quickly and I can't fortify before the tide of what I imagine to be dozens of Haruhi clones in military berets storm my front lines.

"I am now the supreme ruler of the world," Haruhi says in satisfaction.

"Yes. Yes, you are," Koizumi agrees.

"Of this one, anyway," I point out. Mikuru flinches slightly; Koizumi gives me a sharp look. I quickly add, "Why don't we play again? Yuki-chan, you should join us." Ah, wait. I should have said Nagato.

Everyone's too preoccupied with my first comment to remark on that. Except for Haruhi, and she's too taken up with the challenge. "Okay! But if I beat you again, Kyon, you know what that means!"

"Penalty?" I guess.

Haruhi's grin slips slightly. "Yeah," she says, while Koizumi begins cleaning up the pieces, and Yuki-chan stows her book. "But how did you know?" Haruhi asks. "And.... Yuki-chan, where are your glasses?"

"I will play green," Yuki replies in her soft monotone.

Koizumi obligingly gives the green pieces to her, while Mikuru sticks with red. Koizumi himself is blue, Haruhi is yellow, and I'm stuck with black. I guess that's not so bad.

"You didn't answer my question," Haruhi notes. "Disobedience to the Brigade chief is also punishable with a-"

"Penalty," I interrupt. "I know. Mikuru-chan's told me all about it."

Haruhi deflates at this. "Oh," she says quietly. Mikuru, now, claps one hand over her mouth, eyes widening in realization. "Well, anyway, don't lose, Kyon, or else you're in real trouble!"

Don't I know it....

"No cheating! And Koizumi, let's be allies, since we're dating."

Oh, like that's fair?

"Mikuru, you should help your boyfriend, too."

"Um...." She looks nervous. And while I don't mind her company in the least, she's not much help in this fight. I hope whatever I actually plan goes better than this game.

"I will also ally with Kyon," Yuki-chan says softly.

"Fine, but you can't pass messages or anything," Haruhi warns. "Let's roll to see who goes first."

Haruhi, Koizumi, Mikuru, Yuki-chan. Then, of course, me. How can I roll three on three six-sided dice? Oh well. I guess Haruhi really wants to win. I wonder what exactly her penalty is. Probably something inane now, like paying for a double-date.

Yuki doesn't know the rules initially, and any suggestion I make is going to be overheard by Haruhi and Kyon. Mikuru is destroyed very quickly, reduced to watching her armies vanish while whimpering. So Yuki plays defensively, and I try and fight my way into Europe, so we can at least share some borders.

Koizumi is just following Haruhi's lead, but the dice certainly seem to be favoring her. Still, there's an undeniable element of skill in this game, too. Unfortunately for me, I think Koizumi's a better tactician, and I'm stuck trying to fight both of them. And to think I said we were evenly matched last round.

The game shifts abruptly when Yuki figures things out and attacks Koizumi. This leaves me free to deal with Haruhi, a risky proposition, but.... Unnerving. Maybe this game _is_ what's going on.

If it is, I have to act decisively. I employ the unusual and typically losing strategy of trying to attack her strongest armies, instead of getting behind her lines. Haruhi looks more and more upset the more the dice don't actually favor her.

Could it be.... Just like Yuki-chan said? Haruhi's powers protect me from herself? Yuki, meanwhile, has pinned Koizumi down into a single territory in North America -- Canada, of course -- while I march to meet her across previously Haruhi-controlled Asia. In short order, the world is ours. And I even managed to get Australia, to avenge Mikuru.

Haruhi's eyes flash angrily. "A...anyway," she says, sniffing, "now you two need to fight it out. Otherwise it wasn't fair, since it was three on two."

I look at the map. Yuki and I share too many borders to fight cleanly. The alliance leaves us both in questionable state. It's Yuki's turn, anyway. She reaches for the dice, then pauses and looks at me with that same, unreadable expression she almost always wears.

"My, won't _this_ be interesting," Koizumi murmurs.

"I surrender," I decide abruptly. "The people of Kyon-land are tired of war, and find the leader of Yuki-stan to be a merciful dictator."

"Oh, really?" Haruhi asks, suddenly looking very confused. "What about Mikuru, then?"

She nods tearfully, and I'd almost forgotten about her. Almost, I say; such cuteness always leaves some impression, I assure you. "I've already got control of Australia," I say with a shrug. "As long as Yuki-chan lets me keep it in her memory, I think we'll get along."

Haruhi frowns. "Well," she says slowly. "Okay. But, since you surrendered...." She grins abruptly. "You still lose!"

"What?" Is she serious?

"Penalty!"

...apparently so.

I sigh and stand up, bowing slightly. "Of course, Suzumiya-sama. But, since you didn't win, what does Yuki-chan demand from the subjugated former rulers?"

"That's not what I said!" Haruhi protests, her grin slipping. "I said you were going to suffer a penalty!"

"Yeah ... and I did lose. But you didn't beat me."

Haruhi scowls, and Koizumi flinches, looking at his cell-phone and shooting me a very dark look. Oh, right. Closed space.

I probably shouldn't have antagonized her. But I can't help it; her expression when I do is priceless.

"Just kidding!" I say, offering what I hope is a placating grin. I don't like how much that makes me feel like Koizumi. "What's my penalty, Suzumiya-san?"

Haruhi looks wary for a moment, then nods. "You get two penalties for mouthing off like that," she warns. "Yuki-chan can decide the other one. But now ... you have to kiss your girlfriend!"

"Eh!?" Mikuru exclaims, falling out of her seat and staring up, eyes wide and panicked. "B...but...."

"Do it," Haruhi urges. "You betrayed her and let her fall in battle, Kyon! Prove your love and apologize."

Well. This is a fascinating insight. I'm starting to think I know what was on those pages. "Are you mad!? _Here_? Right _now_?" I can't really speak as calmly as I think, though. I shouldn't be surprised, considering that I've seen Haruhi molest Mikuru, but still.

"I...it's okay," Mikuru insists, managing a weak smile. "It's not our first kiss, after all." Yes it is! ...isn't it?

Yes. Yes, of course it is. Will be. _Would_ be.

Haruhi flinches slightly at that, but quickly masks it with a shrug. "Well, whatever. But hurry it up! Yuki gets to choose a penalty, too!" Koizumi is already opening the door. "Hey! Where do you think you're going?"

"Work," he says apologetically, giving me a glance. "I'll see you tomorrow. With any luck."

I guess I got the better job between the two of us. As he leaves, I can feel a tingle in the back of my head ... the activation of his power, I guess. It startles me, even with Yuki-chan's warning, and leaves me somewhat stunned. Mikuru takes the initiative and stands in front of me, tilting her head up, closing her eyes, and ever so slightly pursing her lips.

I want to look away, or tell her she shouldn't ... but it's a bit late for that now. Haruhi looks like she's very conflicted. "Well?" she says through clenched teeth.

Oh, man. How am I going to get out of this one? I can't just leave Mikuru hanging.... But then.... Oh, man!

"I have my demand," Yuki-chan says suddenly. Haruhi blinks, and Mikuru falters, opening her eyes and turning to look in surprise.

"What's that?" Haruhi asks, raising an eyebrow. "You're with me, right?"

"I have defeated Koizumi, and Kyon has defeated you," Yuki explains. "Kyon has deferred to me, and Mikuru represented the least challenge."

Well, there's Yuki-chan's stark honesty. Mikuru whimpers again slightly.

"Logically, since Kyon and I were the two survivors, and all others failed, this makes Kyon and I the most superior leaders."

Haruhi blinks. "What, you want him to kiss _you_?"

Yuki pauses and shifts her gaze from Haruhi to me, as though considering. Don't look at me like that, Yuki-chan! It was hard enough to make myself leave your place last night! Don't make me think it wasn't just my imagination!

Haruhi begins to scowl. "Is _that_ why your glasses are missing? You wanted to look your best for Kyon?" Then she mutters under her breath, staring at the floor, "Maybe I got it wrong. I can redo it though, right?"

I don't think I liked the sound of that. Mikuru looks wary, too. Were we supposed to hear that? I suspect not.

Yuki turns to look at Haruhi again. "The two second-best leaders after myself would appear to be yourself and Kyon. As a measure to ensure loyalty among the captured armies, and to demonstrate my superiority, I order you to kiss Kyon."

Haruhi's eyes bug out. Oh, man. Koizumi is going to blame me for this one, and in my imagination, fifty new instances of closed space just appeared. But it's worth it! That innocent and terrified look she gets when even she realizes she's crossed a line.... Priceless, I tell you.

"What?!" she sputters. "But, but.... But I already have a boyfriend! And, anyway, he's already got a girlfriend, too!"

"Yes," Yuki agrees. "This is why it is a demonstration of my power. Only by showing the people of your former countries my true strength can I assure that my rule will be unbroken."

"You're taking this too seriously," Haruhi scoffs. "No penalties."

"Ah," Yuki-chan says, before turning around and picking up her book, flipping to her bookmark and resuming.

Yuki-chan, I must say again, I am grateful for your protection. And really, I need to watch out for what happens if you are turned against me.

"What's that book about, anyway?" Haruhi asks her suspiciously.

"Covert communications, World War Two, general interest," she replies without looking up. "Also, romance."

"Figures," Haruhi grumbles. "She was reading a war book. So it doesn't matter anyway. Well, I'm going home." She storms out without another word.

Once she's gone, I sigh, hanging my head. "I hope she doesn't get upset enough to put us through this again," I groan, rubbing at my forehead. "I'll just be happy once everything goes back to normal."

"Eep!" Mikuru manages, slumping into a nearby chair, tears filling her eyes. "I thought.... I mean-"

"It's okay," I say with a shake of my head. "Yuki-chan-"

"I would like to go the library tomorrow before I leave," Yuki-chan says, before I can continue. Then she looks up over her book. "Is that my penalty for winning?"

"My penalty for losing," I correct her. Though, it's probably not much of a penalty when I think about it. And the library will be better than her place. Safer, I mean. "That's fine. Should we walk home, Mikuru-chan?"

"Y...yes," she says, not meeting my eyes.

XXX

Mikuru and I walk down the hill -- yes, that same hill -- together. Not hand in hand, as she's asked me to before. Now she's holding her bag before her in both hands, staring at the road between her feet.

"So," I say with a sigh. "I think I have an idea of what was on those pages we never saw."

"W...which pages?" Mikuru asks, finally meeting my eyes with a sidelong glance.

"The ones that were torn out of the notebook that Taniguchi left for Haruhi," I reply. "Before she rewrote the world, remember?"

Mikuru flinches slightly. "Ah," she says quietly. "I wasn't sure. I thought it was about you ... and maybe me."

"Yeah," I agree. "I think that Taniguchi told her that her powers wouldn't work on me."

"That's not true at all," Mikuru protests. "She already has worked her powers on you before! Er, that is...."

"Classified?" I ask, smirking.

"W...well.... It's not classified since it's not actually in this timeplane," she says hesitantly. "Not anymore, really.... But I don't think you want to know."

"I might," I counter. "This could actually be really important. I know that.... That I've been changed in other ways, but what did Haruhi do?"

"She.... Well.... On the island."

"The island," I murmur, frowning. "I thought.... Koizumi and I had thought that Haruhi might have made something there. She saw a shadow, a figure. I never did, but she believed in it. We were afraid she might have created ... a monster or something."

"No," Mikuru says, shaking her head quickly. "Our records indicate that no one on that island was injured."

"That doesn't mean that something wasn't created. Maybe Koizumi's Agency was just able to deal with it," I counter. To say nothing of Yuki-chan's explanation of non-linear timeplanes.

"But.... Well, trust me," she says with surprising confidence. "She didn't create anything there, though she might have destroyed something."

"Huh? What exactly did she do?"

We fall silent then, at the base of the hill. Several younger students from one of the lower grade schools are marching past. All boys, almost all of them carrying baseball equipment. When they're out of earshot, Mikuru slowly says, "It's difficult to be certain, but Haruhi appears to have used you as a catalyst to make changes to the island. Your thoughts about the shadow creature didn't occur until later, did they? When you were on the boat back?"

I think I just figured something out. "So, Koizumi's Agency eventually becomes the group that runs your own, doesn't it?"

Mikuru blushes and looks away. "That's classified."

Of course. And you're right, Mikuru. Maybe they're just related, or Koizumi himself became part of the group that Mikuru is from. Speculation doesn't really help right now, and it doesn't matter at the moment.

"Ah.... Anyway. Um. It seems that Suzumiya-san was uncertain what was going to happen. She was afraid, because she thought that ... you accidentally...." Mikuru trails off and swallows anxiously.

"Thought that I'd killed someone," I offer. Though, now that I think about it, I actually _have_. I'm sorry, alternate-Yuki-san. But I'm going to do worse before this is over, I think. Does it make it okay if it's all a dream when I'm done?

I sure hope so.

"Y...yes. Suzumiya-san couldn't accept that, though. But she couldn't find a way to explain what had happened. She wasn't the detective she wanted to be. Or, she couldn't be without ... doing something that would get you in trouble."

"Yeah," I agree. "That would be very troublesome. But what did she do to _me_?"

"She made you more deductive," Mikuru says slowly. "I think. It's hard to be certain; it appears that she can also exercise her power through other people."

"What?" Now she's lost me completely.

"Ah.... Suzumiya-san believes in you, Kyon. And what she believes in does tend to affect changes to the timeplane. So ... I think she couldn't find an answer. She decided to believe in you, and you were able to come up with a solution because she believed in you."

Well, I did explain it to Haruhi after that. How the entire thing was staged, and.... Now that I actually think about it, that does explain my behavior more. Why would I have stood by idly and watched the murder-mystery unfold, especially knowing how dangerous Haruhi's belief could be? I would have given her hints, not explained everything at the very end.

Well, okay, I might have toyed with Koizumi, but I could have done that without letting Haruhi get upset. "So you're saying she made me smart enough to see a way through it, and then used my explanation to say that's how things really were?" I ask.

"Yes," Mikuru says, nodding. "And ... this is important ... it appears that when it comes from you, because Suzumiya-san believes in you, you amplify her strength. You didn't address the shadow she saw, which might have been, for example, a real murderer. So if it was, that person was ... removed. They didn't fit in your explanation, and it was probably easiest for her to believe it was just ... well ... her imagination."

I heave a sigh. "She believes in me," I murmur. It's not exactly news, but hearing that speech from Mikuru, I realize that it's more important than I'd really considered. It's not really protection from Haruhi's powers ... though, I think she couldn't hurt me. Not directly, anyway. This seems to mesh with what happened when I kissed her, the last time we were in danger of her rewriting the world.

"Wow," I finally say. "That's something to think about."

Mikuru nods quietly. "So, what do you think was on the pages, then?"

"What if ... it was something that said Haruhi's powers couldn't make me do something? It'd have to be that. Something about that, and you."

"C...could it be, you think," and here, Mikuru's face flushes almost beet red, "that we.... That we...." She falters there and stares abashedly at the street, coming to a halt.

I turn around to face her when I notice, then look up at the sky.

Still no convenient cut to the next scene, sadly.

"Do you suppose it said that I was in love with you, and that Haruhi couldn't change that?" I ask. "Maybe that's why, here, she has us dating?"

"Y...yes," Mikuru manages. There's a long moment of uncomfortable silence. This could get ugly. "K...Kyon-kun?"

"Yes?" I am still staring at the sky, not what I'm sure are now tear-filled eyes.

"I think that.... Oh." There's a sound I'm not sure I can make out; it sounds something like cloth sliding across cloth. Mikuru's voice is much softer, and filled with melancholy when she speaks again. "Is this world so bad?"

"It's falling apart," I answer apologetically. "I, uh, haven't seen it happening yet, but I know there are problems that are going to get worse. And really, it's pretty terrible just that Suzumiya-san is in denial. We know that she has to know what she is, even if she's acting differently. So we have to know why."

"So we can fix it?" Mikuru asks quietly. "Even though you're okay, and Koizumi-kun is with us ... and I don't know how, but Yuki-san is here, too."

"But.... Koizumi is struggling with Celestials in closed space. Yuki-san has her own problems. You're not acting like the Mikuru I know, having to pretend we're dating. Haruhi's just.... Even if we have the Brigade here, it's not really our world."

"Am _I_ so terrible?" Mikuru asks in a soft, almost broken whisper.

Ah, yes. I was expecting this. Somehow, that doesn't soften the blow. I'm hit, and look down into those eyes. Softer, more tear-filled and vulnerable than I'd been afraid of.

By the way, guilt is a raging fire that erupts from your stomach. It feels like acid, tearing away your insides and scorching the back of your eyes. It twists your heart into knots, and then squeezes your lungs flat. Not pleasant. Pray that you never burn in these fires.

"No," I say, though it sounds like a gasp. Damn, why are my eyes watering? "You're not! And.... If things...." I trail off there. What can I say?

"Kyon-kun," Mikuru says, and at this, tears spill down her cheeks. If there is a single witness to this event, I will be killed at school tomorrow, though I suspect I may welcome that sweet release. Those tears are like fuel for the bonfire raging inside my gut; it swells up and burns brighter, hotter. Angrily burning away. My eyes sting and I blink several times to try and clear them. "Is it wrong to want to be happy? You don't need to do this to yourself. This world isn't perfect, but Suzumiya-san can make another one! She can get it right, and you won't have to.... You don't...."

My eyes shut, and I feel the delicate dab of Mikuru's handkerchief touching my face, cleaning up the spilled.... So that was the cloth noise from earlier.

Hey, I'm a man! I'm not crying! I just ... oh, damn it. This hurts too much. The last thing I wanted to know what that Mikuru liked me -- really liked me. It was so much easier when I could tell myself she only pretended for Haruhi's benefit.

Gaining confidence, Mikuru goes on, "It could all work out. I don't know what you did, but you could even take Yuki-chan with us. We could all be friends, and Suzumiya-san wouldn't make you--"

"Mikuru-chan," I say, wresting my self-control back from the void I was sliding into, trying to flee the fire. I grab her shoulders, gently. Her hands ball into fists, and she raises them together, bunched just below her chin as she shrinks in on herself and looks up at me hopefully, lips pursing ever so slightly. Not kissing her has to be the hardest thing I think I've ever done.

"Mikuru-chan," I say again, turning my head slightly to one side and closing my eyes. "I can't do that. I can't move from world to world. I want our own world back."

"But.... But if we go there, then I can't.... I mean, we won't...."

"We'll be together," I say fervently. "For a while, at least. And, anyway, I know that we can't work things out like that. Why else would your future self come and warn me about what happened that night?"

"But that was a different timeplane!" Mikuru protests. "They may not be linear, but enough changes will cascade into a new series of realities anyway -- that didn't happen, now! We have a chance!"

Ah ... more fuel for the fire. Not opening my eyes. Most certainly not. I can't afford to lose my conviction. "Does it hurt?" I ask quietly.

"W...what? You mean, time travel? I'm sorry, that's ... that's classified."

"No. I mean, does it hurt, watching me try and take care of Haruhi, and not being close to me? Do you feel abandoned, ignored ... miserable? Knowing that if you get close to me, terrible things will happen?"

"Yes! Yes, that's it exactly!"

Maybe Haruhi did make me more deductive. I don't think I ever could have.... No. I don't think that's it. I think I just didn't _want_ to know this. "How do you think Haruhi feels right now?"

I feel Mikuru collapse in my grasp, tumbling into me as she sobs, her arms wrapping around me, her face buried in my shirt. "Oh, Kyon," she sniffles, as I reflexively hug her tightly. "I thought you liked me!"

Another wrenching pain as the fire flares up again. "I do," I manage. "I do, Mikuru-chan."

"So why hurt yourself over her!?"

"Because...." I've managed to avoid this for so long.... Too long, really. "Because I think everything will really work out better if _she's_ happy."

She slumps again, though she doesn't pull away. "Oh," she says quietly. "I.... Oh."

After a minute of this, I open my eyes. As expected, we now have spectators. A few students from school, watching from out of earshot. Boys, all of them. Angry and huge, too.

Life just keeps getting better all the time. I wish I could blame Haruhi for this one, but I'm pretty sure it's all my fault.

Damn.

"I want to be with you, Mikuru-chan." Oh, you have no idea how cute you really are. And you know, if Haruhi weren't around.... No. Haruhi believes in me. And ... well.... "But I feel responsible for her. I don't know why, but she's really kind of vulnerable when you look at how much power she actually has. Look at where we are now!"

Mikuru nods, though really she just rubs her face against my shirt. "I understand," she says weakly.

"Do you?" I ask. "Mikuru, I'm.... I do like you. I really do." Oh, that feels so good to admit! If only.... "I'm sorry, but-"

"That's okay," she says, breaking away with a giggle, though tears are still in her eyes. She wipes at her face briefly with her handkerchief. "You like me. Even if we can't.... Well, that's enough for me." She hesitates, then gives me a look I'd never seen from her before, one that looks kind of ... sly. "You know, I'm going to be in a lot of trouble for telling you what I did, if we do manage to get back."

"Oh, great," I say. More good news.

"Will you still take care of me, like you promised, if that happens?"

That doesn't sound anything like your original request at all! You're asking for something impossible, and we could just get in more trouble! Way more trouble! "Of course, Mikuru-chan. I promise you." What the hell was that!? Stupid, traitorous mouth! Always getting me in trouble.

"Then that's the most I can ask for," she says with a shrug, breaking our embrace. "Thank you, Kyon-kun." She takes my hand before I can protest and leads me towards the path home, away from our simmering observers.

"Wait, what does that mean?" I ask, frowning. "We need to be careful, you know."

"Of course," she agrees. "And I won't try and make more trouble. I was responsible for it once already." Twice, you mean. Well, no. That was really more Taniguchi, when I think about it. "But now we need to figure out how to get things back to normal. I suppose you don't have any ideas?"

"Not yet," I admit. "I've been having trouble thinking about it for the last few minutes." Mikuru-chan is soft, by the way. Very, very soft. Her hands are nice, too. Augh! This isn't helping! "What are _you_ planning, holding hands like this, and making me give you such promises?"

"Silly," she chastises me. "Suzumiya-san believes in you, Kyon. If she believes in you as much as I do, then I'm certain you'll find a way."

We don't say anything else the entire walk home, though she drops me off at my place first. Just as well; I need to lie down.

What a day!

XXX

I try and focus on my homework. I end up spacing through most of it. Towards the end, the requisite little sister interruption occurs, though it's quite welcome by now.

It lets me evade all of the, "Where is your girlfriend? Isn't she going to visit you today?" and related questions that my mom seems to want to ask. And my head is still clear enough to help my little sister with her own homework.

Simple math, simple science, simple history.... Simple things, ultimately. It's not like she has 'save the world from Haruhi (again)' as an assignment.

But the welcome break inevitably ends, then I struggle through my homework, scribbling in random answers for the last few math questions. I don't really care anymore. I know I should, but aren't I plotting to destroy this world? Well. Plotting for Haruhi to do it.

This is actually much trickier than it sounds. If anyone else could do it, I'd be glad to step back and let them.

Maybe Yuki, then....

That thought in mind, I slam my books shut and go to sleep. I'm tired.

XXX

Another day of Okabe-sensei and the others, though I can ward off their complaints with homework this time. Can't they have a little sympathy for a guy who's just come back from having his head taken apart?

I guess that didn't occur to Haruhi. She seems to think I would hit the ground running and be fine as soon as they let me out the door. Which, to be fair, I think I am.

Mikuru and I walked to school together this morning, and it was pleasant; she didn't mention anything about our conversation. She smiled and seemed happy. I guess I don't have anything to complain about, either. I must admit, all else aside, a happy Mikuru makes for a happier Kyon.

Damn it! Now I'm calling _myself_ that!

Oh, well.

Lunch, lectures, teachers, breaks. All seems to be its slowly familiar reflection of what it used to be; Haruhi still vanishes on her breaks. I'm starting to think of chasing after her, just to see what she's up to now.

But that's not an option. When class lets out, she beelines for the clubroom. Kunikida appears before me like a messenger of doom, apologetic and grim. "Kyon," he says. "I think I should warn you."

"Warn me what?" I ask warily. "Did something happen?"

"You were seen yesterday."

Ah. Right. And I made Mikuru cry.

I suppose this means I'm dead. I hope Haruhi believes I'd live through an assault by angry upperclassmen.

No sooner do I think this thought than I see a handful of older boys loitering in the hallway, a slowly thickening cluster. I see a guy with a baseball bat, and I'm pretty sure I saw those two at the martial arts display during the festival....

Yep. I'm doomed.

"Thanks for the heads up," I reply. "You'd probably better not be associated with me."

"I'm not responsible," he says with a shrug. "I'll drag you to the nurse's later."

"Thanks," I grumble back. What are friends for, huh?

Mikuru's probably in the clubroom ... and I'm sure Haruhi is, too. Well, nothing for it. I march to the hallway to meet my fate.

Only, the violent beating I am expecting doesn't occur. Instead, a flash of anger and green hair appears from nothing, seizing my necktie and hauling me past several very surprised thugs. I remember Haruhi doing this to me, once. Somehow, from Tsuruya, it's actually less pleasant.

If you've never met Tsuruya, well, you may or may not be a fortunate person. She's not like Haruhi, so I can't say she is someone you would rather not know. And usually she's not dangerous. Usually. She has hair long enough that I think she may never have cut it, and I would probably think she were cute. I say I would probably think she were cute, because she's unpredictable. Take the current moment, for instance. That fang may sometimes be cute, but right now it's pure menace, I tell you.

I can either choke or follow, so she ends up dragging me away from the angry crowd and into a momentarily empty stairwell. Then she hauls me down to her height and shoots me an irritated glance. "Bad movesie, Kyon-kun," she says simply, tugging me a bit lower, so she can look down at me.

"Gurk," I say back to her.

"Oh, righty," she says, relaxing and letting me go, then smacking me over the top of my head with a fist while I'm adjusting my tie. "You jackass! Whatcha think yer doin' to Mikuru, eh?"

"Dating?" I ask cautiously, once I can breathe again.

"Really?" she drawls, raising an eyebrow and giving me that, 'You are not impressing me,' look that all women seem to have mastered. How unfair! "I think you're makin' Mikuru cry, or else I wouldn' be hearin' these rumors, doncha think?"

"Rumors?" I ask, pretending ignorance for the moment.

Her eyes flash dangerously, and she grabs my necktie again. This time she doesn't tug on it. "Whassat?" she asks sweetly.

"Look, we had a talk," I say, breaking into a nervous sweat. "That's all! We're on good terms again, now!"

"Really?" She seems doubtful. This is worse than the time I tried to justify what happened between me and Yuki-chan to Taniguchi! I wish I were a better liar.

"We disagreed," I say again. "But after we talked things over, we agreed again. Didn't you see us coming to school together?"

"Mikuru seems down," she replies flatly. "Whatcha do to get her like that, ya goon?"

'Goon'? "Maybe it's not my fault!"

"Then why're people sayin' they saw you make her cry, eh?"

That is difficult to deny. I really should be more careful about where I have these kinds of discussions. I wonder if anyone's spying on us right now, but can't really look without strangling myself thanks to Tsuruya's grip.

"I made her cry," I admit, just before getting smacked again. I don't know if you'd expect it, but she's kind of strong. "I was careless! I said some things that hurt her! I promised her I'd always try and take care of her after that, though."

"Did ya?" Tsuruya asks, fist frozen halfway before smacking me again.

"Yes! And what are you trying to do to me, anyway, cause _more_ head trauma?"

She pauses, considering this, then gives a yank to my necktie. "Better?"

"No," I choke out, struggling to loosen it again.

"Okies. Nex' time I'll jus' kick ya." She pauses, releasing the tie and looks away thoughtfully, pressing a fingertip to her lower lip. "Though, if there's a nex' time, I'll do it after those boys work ya over." She shoots me a bright smile. "But since you promised Mikuru, I'll tell 'em all to leave off for ya. For now. Aintcha lucking out this time!"

That's not really a question. She skips off up the stairs, where I look up and see a neat row of angry faces slipping away, only a few needing to wait for Tsuruya's order to back off. I hurry to the clubroom, grateful that such an eccentric person saved me what could have been much worse.

In the clubroom, Yuki-chan and Mikuru look up when I enter. Yuki goes back to her book. This one's called 'Quicksilver'. Wow, she's a fast reader; it looks huge. Mikuru runs to my side, while Haruhi is still absorbed in a game against Koizumi. I can't make it out before I'm staring at Mikuru's chest.

Ahem.

Raising my gaze, I see Mikuru's concerned eyes. "Are you okay?" she asks me worriedly. "You look terrible!"

At this, Haruhi and Koizumi look up. "Oh, my," Koizumi says, frowning faintly. "Kyon-kun, I think we should discuss this."

"Damn straight!" Haruhi slams her palms on the desk as she says this, knocking over all of the chess pieces as she does so. So that's what they're playing. Or were, anyway. Storming up to me in a fury, she demands, "Who did this to one of my Brigade members?" Mikuru makes a tiny frightened noise and scurries out of her way.

"Did what?" I ask, looking down at myself in dismay. My jacket does look surprisingly scuffed, and I realize that my necktie took some damage. How tight was Tsuruya pulling that thing, anyway? "Oh."

Well.... 'I'm having trouble with my girlfriend; my classmates decided to beat me up for it' will probably just upset Haruhi, if I understand the situation correctly. On the other hand, I don't want to give her the wrong idea.... Or upset her another way. So....

"Kunikida and I were just roughhousing," I finally answer.

"Some serious roughhousing," Haruhi says doubtfully, shaking her head. "You look terrible; I can see a knot forming on your head."

I shouldn't be surprised. Maybe Tsuruya's some kind of beast-girl, with that fang. "Well, he wanted to know about Mikuru," I say with a shrug.

"Know what?" Mikuru and Haruhi ask together. Mikuru blushes and stares at her feet when Haruhi shoots her a sharp look. Then the leader of the SOS Brigade slumps slightly and shakes her head. "Anyway, I want to know what this is about. No one gets to beat up on you but-- the Brigade." I know that's not what she was going to say.

And, anyway, aren't I awfully new to the club for this kind of closeness?

"A gentleman doesn't tell," I answer, looking away.

That seems to answer the question in a way that satisfies Haruhi. Or at least ends her line of questioning. But....

"Gentlemen don't tell, but boys have secrets," Koizumi says, sliding the chess pieces into a small box. "Why don't we go for a walk, Kyon-kun?"

Haruhi and Mikuru blink at this, then shrug when I say, "Why not?"

"Hurry back," Haruhi says suspiciously. "We've got important club duties, you know!"

"I am going to skip club today," Yuki announces, as she abruptly finishes her book and sets it down on the table.

"Oh, fine," Haruhi grumps, as the shorter girl walks quietly out the door.

I offer an apologetic shrug. Haruhi rolls her eyes. "Come on," she says. "We'll figure something out, Mikuru. Maybe we can work on a project for next week. Or a penalty list."

In short order, Koizumi and I make it to the roof, apparently our designated zone for discussion.

He stares off into space for a while, looking very tired.

"Lots of closed space?" I ask him cautiously.

"The world was almost destroyed last night," he answers. "I didn't sleep."

"How bad was it?" I ask. I don't feel that tingle that Yuki-chan gave me.

"A few times, separate instances of closed space merged," he offers after a moment, rubbing at his eyes. "We've never seen that happen before. When it does, even if we destroy one of the Celestials, the space remains as long as a single Celestial is active. All of the merged spaces grow at a constant rate."

"Oh," is all I can manage. I'm responsible for a lot of this, aren't I?

"There is going to be a meeting tonight to discuss your role in this," Koizumi warned. "And mine. I think I proved myself well enough, but I suspect that the general consensus is going to be that the Coalition will want you destroyed; you cause more damage than anything else."

How heartwarming. "Where does that leave us?" I feel a distinctly unpleasant nervous tingle across the base of my scalp.

"About where we started," he says with an apologetic shrug. "Understand ... when the fight finished, I was in North Korea. Two of the Coalition with me were killed. I almost didn't get out, once we were dropped back into normal space, where we didn't have powers."

"Wait, you mean, they were killed by Celestials?"

Koizumi pauses, then manages a wry grin. "Yes. Sorry. That would be an even sorrier fate, I suppose. But it was only through luck that a Coalition agent was able to smuggle me back to Japan, and back here, in time."

I think about this for a minute. "You must have only fought for a few minutes, and then spent most of your time coming back here."

"You've seen them. You know our fights tend to be brief."

And the world came close to destruction again.... "Okay," I say, shaking my head. "It's a very thankless task you do. So you have my thanks for it, Koizumi-kun." It's surprisingly difficult to thank someone who says he might have to kill you.

Koizumi nods. That tingling sensation doesn't abate.

"Is there anything else? Any other signs of the world falling apart?" I press. Better get information from him while I still can, after all.

"A few," Koizumi says, rubbing at his eyes again. "Across the world, as often as head trauma occurs, people are noticing that the effects are not as severe as they should be."

"Ah," I say, frowning. "So, what does that mean?"

"Books and other records are being invalidated to match Suzumiya-san's will."

"That sounds dangerous."

"Yes. It's a minor change in biochemistry, but such a sweeping change does tend to suggest that Suzumiya-san's new world has a previously unanticipated element of instability. I can't know how long it will take to collapse, but if we can keep closed space and Celestials at bay, it's still not promising."

"Collapse?" Koizumi's the one who's better at figuring these things out. Whatever information I can get from him, and run through Yuki-chan....

"Society should be stable," he answers after a moment. "Generally speaking. I expect that the doctors who treated you -- those Suzumiya-san would have been more aware of -- will understand the world that Suzumiya-san desires, and its laws, better than those further away. So this will probably put Japan ahead of the rest of the world. That shouldn't change too much, since it's just brain chemistry and head trauma. But at the same time, we don't know what else she changed, and what effects those discoveries should have. If any of her thinking and will touch on anything as delicate as the fundamental laws of reality, I would say that we'd be ruined."

"To say nothing of economy," I realize suddenly. "How much should the kind of operation I went through cost, anyway? If Haruhi thinks that an average family should be able to afford it without trouble, does that make us rich, or our medicine cheap?"

Koizumi blinks, and the tingling sensation intensifies. It's difficult to resist the urge to scratch my head. "This is something that the Coalition wouldn't have realized; it's the way things already are, for these people," he says slowly. "Perhaps this unintentional advancement is more dangerous than I had anticipated."

"Right. Well, let's go past that. So, these changes -- one way or another -- destabilize the world. Haruhi seems to want us around. Does this mean that it'll fall apart and she'll try rebuilding it again and again until she gets it right?"

"Gaining in skill as she does so, I expect," Koizumi says with a nod. "Suzumiya-san may be evolving as a being of supreme power into god. She is luckier than you, though."

"Why's that?"

"It's no longer a viable option to destroy her; our world will be gone if we do. We're at her whim until she makes a world stable enough to survive in."

I shiver at that.

"You're kidding, right? You wouldn't really try to hurt her."

Koizumi looks away, his expression slipping, and showing a bit of melancholy. "I wouldn't," he agrees. "But I am not the one who makes these choices."

"I see," I say, frowning, running my fingers through my hair in an attempt to dismiss that annoying sensation. "I don't want us to be enemies, Koizumi."

"Neither do I," he says with an apologetic shrug. "But if it comes down to it, I do place Haruhi above you."

"Thanks for letting me know," I grumble. Though. Can I really blame him? I'm just one guy, and Haruhi is.... Haruhi.

"You won't hurt him," Yuki-chan announces suddenly, appearing from a ripple of light and flashing ... data? I realize that the tingling, which has now stopped, was _her_, previously invisible and watching our conversation. She really is looking out for me. Too bad it's only for a limited time, unless the data thought entity disagrees with the Coalition.

Koizumi blinks several times, then shoots me a dark and angry look. "How did you do that?" he demands.

I'm unable to resist. And besides, I can't antagonize Haruhi, can I? I give him a wink and press my fingertip to my lips. "Classified," I answer.

He looks uncomfortable, but nods, accepting that answer. "Well.... I'll report that to the Coalition."

"It is unlikely you can contest me in this space," Yuki-chan informs him. "It is more closely linked with data-space than your closed space, and I am fully able to request the nullification of any of your links if it is required. But doing this, or nullifying any existing factors surrounding Suzumiya Haruhi is likely to destabilize the system."

Koizumi sighs and hangs his head. "If we were on our world, I'd ask if one of the Agency superiors could speak with you directly. As it is, the Coalition won't listen to me. Well, what happens, happens. I can't do anything here, but I've given you what information and help I can."

"Your data is appreciated," Yuki-chan replies. "Unfortunately, Kyon must attend another function with me at this node."

"Good luck," Koizumi mutters, turning his back on us.

Yuki looks at me. Is that expectance in her gaze? Oh! Right! The library.

"Let's go," I say to her, offering a nod. She holds a hand out. I stare at it for a moment before shrugging and taking it. I've held hands with Koizumi before, so why not?

She doesn't exactly smile, but I think something changes in her eyes, and she pulls me through ... something. And then we're outside of the school. _That_ tingle was certainly unpleasant.

Teleportation sure looks handy, but seriously, Yuki-chan, couldn't you have sent us to the bottom of the hill? Once again, I'm going to call foul play.

She releases my hand and begins walking towards the library. I follow in silence.

* * *

  
Author's Note: This chapter did not go how I expected it to. But I like it. I hope you do, too.


	4. Chapter 3

The Blunt Force Trauma of Suzumiya Haruhi

Chapter three: In which there is a confrontation.

A 'Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' fanfic.

Disclaimer: The novel 'Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. I do not know the producers yet, but the animation company responsible is Kyoto Animation. No disrespect is intended by the posting of this fanfiction, as I do not own the characters or settings involved. I'm merely dabbling with another set of paints. )

* * *

After detouring away from the normal route -- where I might run into Mikuru -- Yuki-chan and I make it to the library. This is the same library I napped in while I was supposed to be searching for some sign of the supernatural, once.

Once we get through the door I realize that I left my schoolbag in the clubroom.

It looks like I get to brave the hill yet again to get it back.

Well, I've got some time before that's an issue anyway. Yuki-chan wanders towards the shelves -- she looks like she's in paradise again. But she only takes a few steps before she stops, then turns around. "We should speak," she says in a lower voice than usual.

"I thought so," I say with a shrug. "That's why we're here, isn't it?" She looks away, then nods slightly, so I lead her to a more private area where we're unlikely to be overheard. In the back, surrounded by all these books.

Though, Yuki-chan's place has a lot more books now ... probably because Haruhi thought it should be that way, come to think of it. "Well," I say slowly, once we're both sitting down, "I guess you overheard most of what Koizumi and I discussed?"

She gives that tiny nod she uses. "This is relevant to the data thought entity. Your arguments will likely help your cause."

"Will they?" I ask, surprised.

"Even though I do not agree with the method, Suzumiya Haruhi is demonstrating autoevolution, and projecting it across her entire race," Yuki-chan says simply. "It is likely that as you have posited, Suzumiya Haruhi is undertaking an accelerated version of autoevolution within herself. You are the most evolved being after her, due to her interest in you."

Me? An evolved being? I guess that kind of makes sense. According to Mikuru, I have directed Haruhi's power before. Twice, at least. Let's hope I can do it again and get us out of this mess.

"So, you think the data thought entity will decide that I'm more useful left alive, huh? Though, things will change if Haruhi finds out about it."

That nod from Yuki-chan again.

"But you're not certain?"

"No."

"Well, any little bit to help. Do you know what Mikuru and I discussed yesterday?"

She stares at me for about a minute before: "It seems likely that you discussed the missing pages. My own calculations into their contents have yielded minimal results. This data may be lost."

Maybe not. Glumly, I explain, "Mikuru and I think that Taniguchi told Haruhi that I, uh, liked Mikuru. And that Haruhi couldn't make me like her."

Yuki-chan blinks several times. "Ah," she says.

"So.... Even though it at first seems too altruistic, that does seem like something Haruhi would do. Try and make things perfect, since she can't get her way. I mean.... No, she'd always want her way. But if Taniguchi told her everything else, she'd want to try and be responsible with her powers, wouldn't she?"

"My understanding of closed space is limited, but it would seem that more stress on Suzumiya Haruhi in the proximity of either failure or success would introduce a more profound destabilizing factor than originally considered," Yuki-chan offers. "Meaning that our hope of autoevolution is likely going to be declared a failure."

That sounds pretty terrible. "Huh?"

Yuki-chan shifts in her seat slightly, turning to face me. "Suzumiya Haruhi has considerable power, but very undeveloped skill. The process used to accelerate her autoevolution was too hasty. Despite Koizumi-san's plans, it seems unlikely that she will stabilize. It is most likely that she will become more erratic, and the created data will not be able to survive in the world for long.

"This will call for exponentially more data creation. Her lack of understanding with regards to the fundamental underpinnings of reality does not protect or assure any kind of return to stability until the extinction of the human race is a reality. Because of this, in fact, she must make changes at the levels she can perceive and understand. This will lead to a situation most easily defined as a resonance cascade failure.

"In essence, each change, like a ripple of water across a pool, will refract and create that many more waves when they rebound. As you should know, opposing waves do not cancel one another out when they meet; they combine into larger waves."

Ah, awkward silence. We're almost as good of friends as me and that hill, now. Convenient, though. This gives me some time to mull over what Yuki-chan said.

"Long and short of it, we've got a limited window to act before reality _really_ starts to fall apart?" I hazard.

Yuki-chan's little nod, again.

"Well. Okay. So, if that's universal ... I mean ... if she's treating the symptoms, instead of the root of the problem, as it is.... She can't change Mikuru, because of the difference in timeplanes. She can't change me because she doesn't believe in that. Or because she _does_ believe in that. So she changes everything around us to suit her goals."

"Precisely."

I think about that for a minute. "So, mostly what I need to do is convince her that everything was perfect as it was, right?"

"This seems to be the ... safest bet," Yuki-chan says quietly. "But it is a bet. There can be no guarantees at this point."

"With Haruhi, there never can be." I think about this some more. "After tonight, you're going to speak with the data thought entity, right?"

"Essentially."

Of course. They probably wouldn't really be 'speaking' at all. "Okay. Well, if things go down badly, I may not be able to talk to you afterwards. And if I have to, I'll...." Actually, better not tell her my plans flat out. Yuki-chan evidently agrees, as she presses a fingertip to my lips.

"I must report what I know," she says warningly.

"Of course," I say, when she lowers her hand. "Um. Anyway. Just in case something goes wrong ... can you make another backup of yourself in me?"

She blinks. "Of course," she says, nodding. "The previous backup was set up in advance. Time is limited, so I will not be able to be as subtle as I would like, however." She stands abruptly, and looks at me expectantly.

I stand up, too, wondering where we'll go. She grabs my collar and pulls me down, closing her eyes and resting her forehead against mine; I panic. For a moment, I thought she was going for a kiss. Instead, there's a spark, the tingling sensation across my scalp is a blinding spike of activity that leaves me seeing stars, and I'm lying on the floor.

On top of Yuki-chan.

"For shame!" someone nearby murmurs. I jump to my feet quickly. Yuki-chan, this is a bad thing to keep doing. Why didn't you warn me? And how can someone so dangerous and powerful feel so soft? Um, back to the issue at hand, though. Her eyes are clouded, and only slowly regain clarity. By then I'm kneeling at her side, holding one hand and patting it worriedly.

I've seen her take worse, though. Haven't I?

Of course I have; in a minute she's sitting up, holding my hand. "I apologize," she says quietly. "I forgot your senses would now alert you to that transmission."

Did they ever! And who could ignore a girl pulling herself closer like that, anyway?

"Well, as long as you're okay," I say, probably louder than I needed to. Just what I wanted ... a rumor going around that I'm two-timing Mikuru. Maybe I can get a Tsuruya-proof necktie. Like, a clip-on.

"I am," she assures me. Then she blinks. "I forgot your bag."

"Yeah, I'll get it tomorrow. You ... have to go soon, don't you?"

She nods. "It will seem that I am sleeping for a time," she replies. "Good luck, Kyon."

"Yeah. Thanks, Yuki-chan. I hope everything works out."

That tiny, infinitesimal nod again. It's kind of cute, really.

Ah, I can't afford to be thinking like that. I need to focus on Haruhi.

XXX

The second trip up the hill for my bag allows me to punish myself while trying to purge the wicked thoughts from my mind. Or really, to doubt the need to deceive Yuki-chan. She's under the impression that I'll be getting it in the morning, so she's not likely to find me at the school if she's suddenly ordered to hunt me down early tomorrow morning.

Though I really don't like this situation. I can't imagine many would.

Anyway, I conquer the hill's inevitability, reclaim my bag from the empty clubroom, and walk back home. This is still earlier than the club usually lets out, and much to my surprise I run into my little sister on the way home.

"Kyon!" she calls, bee-lining towards me and trying to tackle me to the ground. Trying, I say. I've grown used to it, by now. Instead, she lands a hug. "Yay!"

"And how did you do on your homework?" I ask, smiling.

"Great! Thanks to you, I got one hundred percent on everything!"

Well, it's nice to know that just as Yuki-chan said, Haruhi hasn't changed the basics. "Good," I say, as she lets go of my leg and we finish the walk home.

I plow through my homework, wondering if I can use my supposed deduction to get through it all easily. I can't, as it turns out. As boring and difficult as ever, so I gladly shove it all aside to help my little sister again.

After that, I reason that Koizumi and Yuki-chan have their orders, whatever they are. Mikuru is probably always going to be on my side, but she's really very limited in how much she can help me. I get a few instances of tingling in the back of my head -- a more Koizumi-like tingle than a Yuki-chan-like one, I realize, but nothing happens.

I attribute it to closed space, and eventually doze off.

XXX

When I wake up, I'm once again in an uncomfortable world of gray. I climb to my feet and run to the window, shaking my head to clear it. This is exactly what I don't need. I didn't hear my alarm go off, and I almost never wake up early.

But I've got a tingling in my scalp. Yuki-chan-like tingling. Either she or one of the other agents of the data thought entity is up to something.

My window opens and I peer out. Fog? Just fog. Okay, I can deal with that.

"Kyon!" my little sister calls, flinging my door open. "It's time to get- Oh!" She seems surprised and confused to see me awake already.

Well, I do like my sleep....

"Good morning, Kyon!"

"Good morning to you, too," I say, nodding at her. "Did you already take your bath?"

"Yep!"

I stifle a yawn. "Great, I'll be down in a minute to take mine, then I'll see you at breakfast."

"Okay!"

That gives me a little time to splash myself with cold water and wake up completely. That Yuki-chan-like tingle eventually goes away, which is probably a good thing. Unless I get to school only to find out it's been flattened.

Breakfast is quiet, other than my mother's jibing comment about me actually waking up on time.

Hah.

Then Mikuru shows up for the walk to school. I used to go with my sister towards her school, then ride my bike to the train station, take a train, and then walk up the hill. But with Mikuru, I just leave earlier and walk. My little sister's school is in walking distance, so I'd have to walk my bike halfway to the train station anyway to stay with her.

We get to where she meets up with her other friends, then Mikuru and I wave. She waves back.

So far this seems like a normal morning.

"Do you have any ideas on how to get us back to where we came from?" Mikuru asks.

Normal for me, I guess. And to think, Taniguchi once told me he was more normal than I was! He could have been right, come to think of it.

"A few," I say cautiously. "But I'm still working on them. The real trick is figuring out how to get us back without having Haruhi change things intentionally afterwards. Say, can you get me information on how things used to be?"

"You mean from the timeplane that was collapsed into this one?" Mikuru asks me, blinking. "I suppose you'd need that as an anchor point, wouldn't you?"

"The way I see things," I agree. "Mostly I need to learn about head trauma, I guess."

"Well.... It shouldn't be classified, just irrelevant.... I guess I can do that for you. I can probably get it by tomorrow, if you need it. But I can't bring objects back -- you know that."

She did mention that before. "That's fine. I just need to understand a bit about it. If you can learn enough to answer some questions ... or maybe just get them answered for me."

"That's no problem at all! Is there anything else I can do?"

"Well...." We reach the train station before I can answer. And then we board and she's pressed up against me in the crowd -- which I can't deny enjoying -- and we're quiet until we get off at the school's stop.

"Well," I say again, as we reach the base of ... of course ... the hill. "Could you get a nurse outfit like you used to have?"

"Eh?" She blinks and looks at me oddly. "W...well...." Then she smiles brightly. "If you'd like, sure!"

It's not for me, though! That is, not entirely for me. "J...just understand," I say quickly, "it's part of my plan. I'm not trying anything.... I mean...." I may enjoy the view as well, but that's not relevant. Entirely.

"I wouldn't complain," she says with a wink. Then we discuss school and the club, because Kunikida draws near us. I've never actually been annoyed to have him nearby, before.

"Good to see you two getting along again," he says, nodding his approval. Easy to say; you would just have watched. Then again, would I help someone who made Mikuru cry like I did? Probably not.

I just nod at him.

Mikuru blushes and looks away.

"Ah," Kunikida sighs. "I wish I could luck out like you, Kyon. Don't blow it this time, huh?"

"Yeah," I mutter, as he smirks and runs ahead. "Thanks for the warning again." Now, where were we, Mikuru?

XXX

Another humdrum day. Mostly.

I don't get any strange notes in my locker, and no one asks me politely to die. Or just attacks me, though that would actually be new, anyway.

No sign of Koizumi or Yuki-chan until after I head to the clubhouse.

Haruhi rushes out of class, and I stroll after her. When I get there, Koizumi is standing in front of the door, very tensely, scowling at it. I walk up behind him and think for a moment. Before I can say anything, he says, very quietly, "I do have orders to report your presence as soon as I see you. So far, I haven't, though. Which is probably for the best. If you succeed ... then I hope we'll meet again in friendlier circumstances. If you fail ... then I'm sticking with the Coalition; they're the closest thing I have to a dependable organization, and it's the only way I can watch over Haruhi."

"Oh?"

"Yes. We can't talk long here. If you do find anything out, and you don't make it ... since I suppose Yuki-chan is on your side, can you leave a record of what you discover with her? Or anywhere, really? If it can be done.... Well. Let's hope it doesn't come to that. I'm going to turn left and go home now. You should tell Haruhi I wasn't feeling well. Which is true enough; the thought of actually following through on my orders is making me sick to my stomach."

He pauses then, and I carefully step to his right.

"It would be for the best if you either beat me to the club or don't show up; I am under orders. If you aren't there, obviously the matter is out of my hands."

"Ah."

"Keep in mind that while I am hesitant, I'm not the only one involved in the Coalition. You can't expect anyone else to be this friendly about it. Again, Kyon ... good luck." He turns left as he said, striding away without looking back.

What a guy. No esper-tingle, though, which is probably a good thing. Not that it matters in real space. And I think if I were killed in closed space, I'd reappear as soon as it collapsed. So it's not like he could hide me there.

Then again, if he turned into a ball of light and dumped me far into the ocean.... Ugh. I'd rather not think about things.

I don't have much time now. Good thing I was expecting this. I know Haruhi's in the clubroom, so Yuki-chan probably shouldn't attack me openly. Mikuru hasn't warned me about it, at least.

And if I stick close to those two, I'll probably be okay for today.

I open the door.

The atmosphere is surprisingly tense. Yuki-chan looks up at me, then down at her book, hanging her head lower than usual. Mikuru looks happy, but it seems strained. Haruhi herself is hidden behind a newspaper.

The headline reads, "Bodies discovered in area apartments. Owners deny involvement in murder".

I close the door and say, "What a mood ... is everything okay?"

"Maybe," Haruhi answers, setting the paper down. "Did you see this?"

"Yes. It's a newspaper."

She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms over her chest. "Seriously," she chides me. "This article says that three bodies were found in apartment buildings across the city. Well, one was a few miles further north. They appear to be normal high school students crushed with some massive force, and in all three incidents, the people who live in those apartments claim that the bodies simply appeared from thin air. How do you think that can happen?"

I think that an esper who dies will reappear in reality -- dead, unfortunately -- as soon as closed space collapses.

"It could be a cover-up," I try. I get an unfortunately timed Yuki-chan-tingle. "Maybe there was a series of murders designed to look identical and be seemingly inexplicable. The unlikely circumstances might require the police to dismiss the incidences as a fluke."

"You think so?" Haruhi asks tiredly. "You don't think it was ... maybe ... something like aliens? Or...." She trails off and stares at the paper.

I feel guilty, knowing that it was probably my fault that Haruhi got upset enough for those deaths to happen. But I can't let Haruhi know that. "I suppose it could be. But that would be very hard to prove, wouldn't it?" The Yuki-chan-tingle fades. I glance at her. Today's book is 'The Confusion'. How appropriate.

"I guess." Haruhi seems unconvinced.

"Look at it this way," I say after a moment. "It's only recently happened, and that's a morning edition. They only found out just before the papers were sent out, so there's really only minimal information there. More evidence may come to light later. And then there could be a perfectly rational explanation for it."

Knowing the truth, it doesn't seem irrational to me when I think about it. So much for being normal.

"That's true," she grudgingly admits. "I guess it's not anything to worry about."

"Of course not," I agree. Mikuru offers an emphatic nod. Another page turns in Yuki-chan's book. "It's very unlikely it will concern us. After all, they didn't happen in our district, did they? They weren't students at this school."

"Yeah, you're right," Haruhi agrees. "I guess it's nothing. Okay!" She bounces back fast. Or pretends to. "Ah.... Say, where's Koizumi, anyway?"

"He said he was feeling sick."

"Really? That's too bad." I really would expect more concern for Koizumi than that, Haruhi. He is your boyfriend, isn't he? "Well.... I guess we can still play some games."

I think it's time for a little experimentation. Based on what I've heard, I need to find out the limits of Haruhi's ability. This could be dangerous. But rationality should see me through. It's basically the force most opposed to Haruhi anyway.

"Weren't you going to come up with an activity list yesterday?" I take a seat as I ask this. Mikuru gets up and starts making some tea. "How did that go?"

"Miserable," Haruhi grumbles. "Mikuru wanted us to make a movie. How would we do that?" She crosses her arms on the table and rests her head there, staring at a wall. "I don't know what to do."

I think she's talking about the larger picture, now, not what to do in her club. And we already made a movie. I would think she wanted to make another, especially given what she knows she can do now. She could make a really.... Well. It would probably be a terrible movie with excellent special effects, actually.

"Why don't we go for a few laps around the track?" I suggest.

Haruhi raises her head and stares at me in confusion. Mikuru looks puzzled as she serves tea, and even Yuki-chan looks up, blinking.

"What?"

"Well, Koizumi's out sick," I say reasonably. "We should obviously look after our health better. And the track team doesn't meet today." I don't know if they do or not. But I'm guessing.

"Oh," Haruhi says, frowning. "Well.... Okay. Yeah. Why not? I could use some exercise. We'll change in here." She shoots me a sharp look, but before she can follow it up, I'm stepping into the hallway, tea in hand.

"I'll change after you," I say.

Haruhi looks momentarily sad for some reason, before I shut the door.

Huh.

XXX

After we all changed -- even Yuki-chan, who did not teleport in and kill me while I was changing -- we went down to the track. Unsurprisingly, it is deserted. Was this because I told Haruhi it would be empty? Or did the track club really not meet today? Hard to say, and if she changed it, impossible, when you get right down to it.

Now, for my test. "Okay," I say, after stretching. Mikuru and Haruhi follow suit. Yuki-chan stands nearby, still reading her book. "Let's try and race, Haruhi."

"Race? You?" she asks doubtfully.

"Yeah," I say with a nod. And now for a dual experiment: How well can I lie, and how well will this work? "I can actually run pretty fast. I was in the baseball club, remember? And now that I'm going to school again, the hill's really built up my stamina. I think I could probably beat you."

"Hah! I'm hardly going to let you win!" but she doesn't seem totally confident. "Mikuru-chan, you'll sit this one out as our starter. Yuki, you're going to be the judge. A full lap, right? And Kyon, pace yourself. I don't need you collapsing on me."

"Collapsing?" I say indignantly. "I can run full speed for an hour at least! Do you know what kind of exercise they make you do when you're recovering at the hospital?"

"N...no," Haruhi says, looking suddenly very doubtful. "Is it really intense?"

"You'd better believe it," I say. "Are you ready? I'll try not to embarrass you too badly."

Now, this may seem very foolish. And it might actually be just that. But if this experiment works, then Haruhi will believe I am faster. Her conscious will seems unable to affect me a whole lot, but her subconscious....

Not only that, if people are trying to kill me, this could really pay off; I don't think I could convince Haruhi I was a great fighter right now. And even though it's not much of a plan yet, it'll be important in what I've got so far anyway.

"Okay," Mikuru says, nodding. "When you two are ready."

"I'm ready," I say, getting into a starter's stance, remembering what I can from seeing the Olympics. Haruhi grunts and gets into position next to me.

"Ready?" Mikuru calls, backing away, as though we'd knock her over with our wake.

Yuki-chan sets down her book and stares at us impassively. "Good luck," she says, though I'm not sure who to.

"Won't need it!" Haruhi insists, shooting me another wary glance.

"Set!"

"Mikuru-chan! We've _been_ ready, and we're _already_ set!"

"Aaah! Sorry! Go!"

And like that, we're off.

Something is different as soon as we launch ourselves down the track at Mikuru's call. I couldn't run this fast before, but I can now. I've watched Haruhi run, and she could be a star athlete, if she wanted to. But I can pace her, and I feel like I _could_ do it for hours.

One foot before the other, my breath coming easily while Haruhi stares at me in surprise, then grimly forward, trying for more speed. I loose a chuckle and match her, almost. I'm not quite as fast as her, but in no time we're rounding the far end of the track, and when we reach the straightaway, she grits her teeth and throws herself into it wholeheartedly.

I push myself to my absolute -- and now expanded -- limit to pace her. Even when I try my hardest, I can only catch up, not overtake her. But I think we've seriously got a chance of setting a world record at this rate.

Mikuru probably realizes what I've done, and that this means I'm actually making headway at exercising changes through Haruhi; she's jumping up and down, waving her arms and cheering. It seems like we've only just begun when we're sliding across the finish line, and Yuki-chan blinks at us.

For good measure, both of us slow down and jog a bit to ease off our run. She's winded, not quite gasping for breath, but certainly heaving. I'm the same, though I struggle to hide it, grinning at her. "See?" I say, before I'm forced to wheeze, not quite masking it with a chuckle. "Tons of stamina."

Haruhi catches the attempt and actually grins at me. "I never knew you were such a jock," she teases me, placing her hands on her hips and stretching a bit more. "Maybe we should do athletic stuff, and play with the other clubs sometimes?"

When I've caught my breath a bit more -- which takes less time than I think it should -- I say, "We could, if you'd like. You're the club leader, after all."

She shakes her head as Yuki-chan and Mikuru catch up. "Beautiful!" Mikuru exclaims, clapping her hands together. "That was amazing!" Yeah, she has to have figured out what I was up to. Experiment successful. I feel great! Or maybe this is just the euphoria of exertion? I can't complain either way.

"The match was a tie," Yuki-chan notes quietly. "But your effort was very impressive." Haruhi shakes her head again, Yuki-chan pauses and shoots me a direct glance. "This could change your standing with the administrator."

"What?" Haruhi asks, frowning.

"Er...." Mikuru turns and looks at Yuki-chan.

"My grades did suffer from being in the hospital," I say quickly. "So I guess if I did well somewhere else, like in physical ed, it might bring my average up."

"Oh," Haruhi replies. "Well, hey, do you think the word of your club chief will amount for much?"

And here's where I have to be careful. Yuki-chan and Mikuru are looking at me, as is Haruhi. "It might," I say. "But this is only a club activity. I wouldn't worry about it anyway. I'm sure I'll pull my grades back up."

That seems to satisfy Haruhi. "Okay," she agrees. "Anyway, the Brigade chief and Kyon have set a demonstration! Now, Mikuru and Yuki-chan get to race!"

This should be interesting.

XXX

By the time club activities finish, Haruhi's run us all through a wicked exercise regime. I'm pretty sure my stamina has been improved, because I'm not dead. But we got to do everything. We ran, we leapt, we climbed, and there were some attempts at acrobatics, which were interesting.

I did a lot better than I expected. Mikuru hit her head and Yuki-chan sat that one out.

After that we returned to the club room to unwind, and I got to change first. I should be glad that Haruhi didn't insist that I change in the hall, I guess. But it was good to see Haruhi actually smiling, and seeming to mean it.

No esper-tingles, either. Which means, I guess, no closed space access nearby. There's a thought.... While I wait in the hall, and they change, I send a text message to Koizumi: 'Tried to reduce closed space creation. Reply if successful.'

No response immediately, unfortunately. No Yuki-chan-tingles, either, though that may not mean much. When the door opens, Mikuru is the first one out, and she rushes to my side, handing me my bag. "Let's go," she says urgently, though she's smiling.

Why not? I follow her out; we were just going to go home after activities anyway. Once we're on our way down the hill -- and my old nemesis seems less than its usual self, now -- she says, "I think you did very well, Kyon-kun. Will you be able to manage things quickly enough, though?"

"I hope so," I reply, glancing around to make sure no one is watching us. I certainly don't need another session with Tsuruya. "Depending on how things went, it could work out really well. Haruhi's in a good mood, so closed space isn't an issue at the moment. This doesn't take care of the other problems, but it all actually seems manageable somehow, now."

Of course, I still need to make sure I don't argue myself into a vegetable. That will be tricky. And Haruhi's still very dangerous if she's not careful.

"I'm proud of you anyway," Mikuru says. "I wish I could offer you more advice, but-"

"I know, I know," I reply, smirking. "Classified."

"Yep." Mikuru offers an apologetic smile. "Can I make you dinner tonight to apologize?"

"I don't know," I say after a moment. "Remember, if we're close, Haruhi gets upset."

"She doesn't have to know," Mikuru says, shaking her head. "Remember, it's only when she sees us that it's a problem."

That's pretty jarring. Mikuru, I never knew you were so devious behind that innocent exterior! "Y...you're kidding, right?" I manage.

"Of course not! After all, we're supposed to be dating in this world!"

"But, if we get back, we can't risk that, right?"

"Ah...." She trails off. "No, you're right," she agrees. "I've caused enough trouble as it is. So I just want ... well ... to enjoy it while we can."

"Mikuru-chan ... things like that make it very hard for me to focus on what I've got to do," I say, shaking my head. "I mean...."

"I know," she says, sighing and bowing her head. "Let's wait here a moment." We're at the base of the hill, a few blocks away from the train station.

"Okay," I agree. Maybe she needs to catch her breath.

"Kyon, I want to help you as much as I can. And I can tell you about the old world, even though I shouldn't ... but there's so much about this one I'm not allowed to talk about. So it makes it very hard for me to explain. But would you believe me if I told you it would be for the best if we just stood here and you held me for a few minutes?"

That's certainly something I want to believe! And it's in public, so it's not like it'd be too bad. But then, it could also get back to Haruhi. Then again, it'd make any rumors that went around much more positive in general.

This time I'd be beaten for taking advantage of Mikuru-chan, not making her cry.

While I debate, she hugs me. Reflexively, I hug her back. Her hair smells clean, like Yuki-chan's, but also like fruit ... strawberry and apples. A few minutes of this is quite reasonable.

"And you want to make dinner tonight?" I murmur.

"Please," she says, her face rubbing against my chest as she nods.

This is a huge risk in temptation, isn't it? What are you up to, Mikuru-chan?

I don't answer immediately. The moment extends, and I enjoy every bit of it -- until my cell phone vibrates abruptly, and Mikuru releases me with a smile. "There," she says in satisfaction.

Wait, she was just distracting me until I got a call? I try to answer, but it's not a call after all. It's a text from Koizumi: 'Close space growth almost completely halted. Superiors impressed. You have more time. Be careful.'

As I stare at those last two sentences, a large, dark car rounds the corner, a pair of men with dark glasses looking at me sharply and then driving away down another street. I know they're looking at me because I feel a definite esper-tingle from them, even behind the shades. I thought their powers didn't work in the real world? They don't do anything to me, either way. I realize that they're driving from the direction of the train station, of course.

"I'd be delighted to let you come over and make dinner for me and my family," I tell Mikuru, holding her at arm's length so that I can look at her solemnly.

She gives me that same shy, pleased smile that I found impossible to resist when I met her older self, what seems so long ago.

Devious, I tell you. Devious!

XXX

Mikuru isn't a bad cook. She's not a spectacular one, but I really can't complain. Nothing gets set on fire or spilled on me -- until my little sister knocks over her drink, and I'm the only one who gets splashed. Typical, I suppose.

But other than that, it's a nice, quiet meal. My mother thanks Mikuru for coming over and taking such good care of me, my little sister asks if she can study with us, and everything seems ... well ... nice.

Nice enough that I can just think about everything that went right today. Of course, a little sister is a perfect poor behavior deterrent. With her in the room, nothing can go wrong.

It doesn't hurt that Mikuru and I have different classes, so we can't really work together terribly well. All of my homework is old news to her. But I plod through it as quickly as I can, anyway. My little sister only asks me for help with a few problems, and Mikuru answers about half of those for me.

"Little sister is so cute," she gushes, when my sibling gets up to get a drink. I can only nod in agreement, though I doubt I would utter such a sentiment myself.

Mikuru turns to look at me and says, "Well, I've done what I can. I'll meet you here tomorrow and walk you to school again, okay?"

"Ah.... Sure," I reply. Then I get a text message. From Koizumi: 'Much to discuss; meet discreetly in Sakuragaoka park 11:00.'

My little sister returns, gathers up her books, and then gives Mikuru a big hug. "Thanks, Mikuru-nee-san!"

"Any time!" Mikuru replies, before starting to pack up her own things. I glance at the clock. It's just a few minutes after ten. "I hope I'll see you tomorrow, too."

This elicits a cheer, and then it's just me and Mikuru again, though the door to my room is left open. Suddenly, she turns serious. "Kyon, you shouldn't take too long getting to that appointment."

"You know, Mikuru, I think I've underestimated you in the past," I murmur.

She giggles, and puts one finger to her lips.

"I know, but I'm not asking any questions," I say, before the old 'classified' line comes up again. Though from experience, it is kind of fun to use.

She pouts cutely at that, and says, "Well, remember that it takes a certain kind of person to make unreasonable requests. And positions like this have extensive qualifications." Then she gives me a wink. "Wouldn't you like to know more?"

Heh. She's just looking for an excuse to say it now. "You're cute when you tell me things are classified, Mikuru. Did you know that?"

She blushes at that, her composure vanishing as she giggles and ducks her head. "U...um," she stammers. "N...no one's ever said that!"

"It's true," I assure her. "But we'd better hurry to avoid trouble. If you say I should leave soon, then I'm going to do that." I pause briefly, considering. "Should I walk you home?"

She shakes her head. "We can walk together a little."

So, we pack up all the rest of the schoolbooks and homework, and do just that. Mom is under the impression I'm just walking her home and I'll be back later. Though, if I come back after more than an hour has passed, I wonder if they'll get suspicious?

Nah. They didn't say anything when I went out with Koizumi for that painfully long car ride.

Anyway, Mikuru and I walk together in companionable silence for a few blocks, then she turns to go home and waves to me encouragingly. I watch her walk away for a bit, then turn the other way and walk to the park.

As I do, I feel another tingle -- Yuki-chan-like, not esper. I take a deep, quiet breath. If I have to run from Yuki-chan, I will. No, I will try. With Haruhi's changes on me, I'm even better at it, after all. Then again, Ryouko froze me in place, so if Yuki-chan attacks me, I'd probably best appeal to her better nature.

Assuming that will work. Really, she'd have to let me get away. I'm going to trust in Mikuru for now, though, and continue on to the park, unable to keep myself from jogging faster. Now, the park itself isn't terribly large -- it's a quarter of a block, and a good deal of that is taken up with a baseball diamond. Then there's a small gym for children to play on, and the rest of it is benches and paths through the trees. This is Japan, though, so it's all well lit, thanks to the vending machines lining the paths.

It doesn't take long to find Koizumi, though according to my phone, I'm almost an hour early. He looks intensely relieved to see me before assuming his placid expression. That Yuki-chan-tingle doesn't fade, but is joined by an esper-tingle.

That's a very discomforting sensation, by the way.

"You're early," Koizumi notes. He turns away. "Why don't we walk while we speak?"

"Just what I wanted," I say, falling in stride beside him. "A walk in the park late at night with you."

"I'm touched!"

"Not if I can help it."

He chuckles and shakes his head; I can hear the slightest sound of strain in that laugh. "I shouldn't be here, you know."

"Yeah, you mentioned something about that," I agree. "So either you're going to try and kill me," and good luck with that in the real world, Koizumi, "or something changed."

"Something has indeed changed," he agrees, nodding as he leads me out of the park, across the street, and down an alley. "My superiors are very impressed with you, as I said. But as I earn greater trust with the Coalition, I am learning that they are vastly different from the Agency. Understand I mean no insult by this, but I place Suzumiya-san as more important than you, given the world we came from."

Well, that's honest. "I guessed as much." We walk in silence as we emerge on the other side of the alley into a poorly lit street, and he turns to the right. "Wait. You're saying the Coalition thinks I'm more important than Haruhi?"

"And why wouldn't they?" he asks, shooting me a dark look. "You're at the center of most changes lately almost as much as Suzumiya-san, and since you have a better idea of what's going on, your influence is much more benevolent."

"Ah," I murmur, hiding a grin. Myself, a benevolent influence upon reality as a whole. Or just the common sense that keeps Haruhi from blowing everything up. That's somewhat sobering, though. "So, where are you going with this?"

"It's not been stated directly, and it wouldn't, since I'm supposedly her boyfriend. But I am under the impression that if you completely stabilize Suzumiya-san, the majority of the Coalition would want her destroyed."

I freeze in my tracks right there. Koizumi turns to one side, before another vending machine, and studies it for a minute.

"Are you serious?" I manage.

"Unfortunately, yes. But look at this from a completely logical vantage, Kyon. Suzumiya-san has implemented changes that only bring danger to the world. Three of the Coalition died last night. And while it has happened in the past, new espers haven't appeared since then, according to their history. This, unfortunately, matches what we've seen in the Agency."

"Maybe it just takes more time," I suggest. "Maybe it just takes longer than three years." Then, another thought occurs to me. "Or maybe your powers are hereditary. Does anyone in the Agency or the Coalition have kids?"

He shakes his head in response. "Those have been considered. So far, none of the children exhibit any powers. But maybe it takes longer than two years. We don't know, though." He pauses, putting some coins into the machine and pressing a button. He presses it again. Two hot coffees are vended, and he hands me one. "My guess is that Suzumiya-san didn't consider those ramifications when she made us. We are a product of her subconscious will, after all. Now the Coalition is divided, and the one side of the argument I'm certain of is not a pleasant image, either."

"What's that?" I ask, sipping at my drink. Bitter. The Yuki-chan-tingle intensifies, as the esper-tingle fades. What's going on, anyway?

"You are able to control Suzumiya-san to some extent," he said with a shrug. "I explained to the Coalition that you were attempting to curtail the creation of closed space. As soon as you did this, no new closed space came into being."

"That's only been a few hours though," I object. "Not even a day. They can't be acting so quickly!"

"Since we came to this world, an instance of closed space occurs approximately every ten minutes. Until you spoke with Suzumiya-san in the club room and ... the Coalition didn't have anyone in place to watch that. Someone on the track team is usually in charge of that, and they didn't meet today."

Oh, isn't that ironic. "I see. So because it seems I did something with Haruhi...?"

Koizumi sighs and drinks some of his own coffee, then turns around and leans against the machine, staring up at the darkened sky. "There are forces that want to capture you to try and control Suzumiya-san, to see if closed space can be destroyed forever, or if more espers can be created."

Chilling. The Yuki-chan-tingle seriously intensifies.

"Others are convinced that because of Suzumiya-san's belief in you, her powers, if you will, are fading." Then the Yuki-chan tingle diminishes a bit. What's going on?

"She's going to turn into a normal schoolgirl?" I ask in surprise. Well, as close to normal as she can manage, anyway....

"I don't know about that," Koizumi says with a shrug. "It's possible. It's also possible that she's giving her power to you simply because she doesn't know how to deal with it."

I blink at that. That can't be right. Why would she even do such a thing?

"Think about it," Koizumi says, pausing for another sip. "Suzumiya-san believes in you. She definitely believes in you. She built this world for your benefit, as far as I can tell. She's the center of our reality. But you're the center of hers."

I reflexively drink my coffee in silence, adding this to what else I know. "I thought she just exercised her powers through me," I finally said. "I thought I convinced her to make me a better runner. I didn't do anything but talk to her." And ... run better, actually.

"You believed in her, she believes in you ... in a roundabout way, you believe in yourself. I'm not certain ... but I think that Suzumiya-san's strength stems from belief in herself. Absolute confidence, if you will."

I nod and toss my empty can into a dustbin. Haruhi certainly displayed enough confidence in the past for me to believe this.

"But she's losing that confidence, even as she's gaining in power. She's got nothing to cling to but you. If things continue in their present state, you stabilizing her and using her power ... you could usurp her position."

"And the Coalition wants me on their side because they know I want to stop closed space," I murmur. "But why not simply approach Haruhi and tell her these things? It wasn't an option before, because it might result in too many espers -- but that's not really the problem now, is it?"

"That's true," Koizumi admits. "But here, Suzumiya-san is -- tragically -- a much more destructive force than she was in our own world. And it's not a recent trend, that's simply how the Coalition sees her."

"Why? She recreated the Coalition, didn't she?" I ask. Did those notes explain the Agency? Maybe they didn't. Maybe Haruhi just saw Koizumi throw his attacks and realized he was an esper. Would that account for the radical change?

Koizumi just looks at me expectantly, taking a long sip.

"So ... Haruhi sees you attacking Taniguchi, and thinks that espers are violent. For whatever reason that we still haven't figured out -- and it seems to me this is important -- she doesn't change you, but now the Coalition is more bloodthirsty and less patient than the Agency."

"Sounds reasonable," he agrees, finishing off his drink and tossing it after mine. "Though, you're right. I don't understand why she preserved me."

"Maybe Yuki-chan would know," I murmur. If only I had the specifics of that notebook! Even though I've established some things, it's coming clear that there's still too much I don't understand. "I wish we could ask her."

That same tingle of Yuki-chan-related energy, and I spin around. She steps out of the alley and looks at us askance. Should I run?

"This is a weak node for discussion," she says. She's not wearing her glasses, and for some reason, that reassures me. "I believe that the three of us should discuss this in a more private location."

How far is her apartment from here, anyway? Quite a walk. I don't know if I'd make it back home before the trains stopped.

"Nagato-san," Koizumi says warily. "Well. You've still got your trump card, Kyon. If anyone can pull through this, it's going to have to be you."

Do I still have Yuki-chan as a trump card? "Where should we go to speak?" I ask, just before everything around us shimmers -- big Yuki-chan-tingle for this one -- and we're in a box that melts away to show us her room. Well. That was efficient. So much for running away. "Okay. So, what should we be talking about?"

"I have observed portions of your discussion. Enough that my previous orders are rescinded. I am returning to my role as an observer."

"Direct communication between us has always been very limited," Koizumi says cautiously. "And, I'm only a low ranking member of the Agency, anyway. You're just a low ranking member, too, aren't you?"

Yuki-chan looks at Koizumi. "You are the highest ranking remaining member of your Agency," she notes. Ah, she's got him there, when you get right down to it.

He looks momentarily flustered, then nods and takes a seat at the table, taking off his shoes. I join him. Yuki watches us for a moment, then pours tea for everyone. I just drank coffee, so I only take a sip. Koizumi drains his cup.

"You're right," Koizumi says, sighing. "So, I suppose it's up to me. Assuming I'm willing to betray the Coalition. I need to be back at the park by eleven so that it will appear that Kyon did not arrive when the Coalition is watching."

"Understood."

"I'm glad you're both on my side," I murmur. And I am. These people would make terrible enemies. "Yuki-chan, how much of what he said is right? Is Haruhi somehow giving her strength to me?"

"This seems possible. The potential for autoevolution has not previously been observed as a contagious element, but may have gained these attributes in Suzumiya Haruhi's changes to the world." She seems hesitant, then refills Koizumi's cup.

He raises it in salute and sips before setting it back down.

"Because of recent factors it is critical now to preserve both Suzumiya Haruhi and Kyon from damage." I still only get a nickname, Yuki-chan? "This world is still destabilized. While our observations were able to gather crucial data, especially during today's experiment, there is much that still needs to be understood. In addition, even with full understanding, the damage done may be too extensive to mend at this node."

"So we're going to be stuck with Haruhi making worlds over and over until she gets it right?" I ask.

"Unlikely. Each attempt will fail on a larger scale, leaving her more frustrated and transferring more of her potential to you."

That doesn't ... really sound so bad. I'm not sure I really want that power, but I could make sure it didn't do any damage. "Would that work?"

"The result is not desirable. Your potential for autoevolution will curtail Haruhi's strength and lock it into a harmless factor."

"Which would leave us stuck with no way to change things back," Koizumi reasons. "And on top of that, we probably wouldn't get rid of the closed space issue, which would only get worse."

"Okay. But this still doesn't tell me why you can't approach Haruhi and just tell her what's going on, and ask her to fix it. I know Mikuru's got her reasons, but you _are_ the Agency now, Koizumi. And you can explain things without revealing ... anything critical, Yuki-chan." Better not mention the data thought entity in front of Koizumi, just in case.

"I would be an anomalous affront to Suzumiya Haruhi's condition," Yuki-chan explains. "I should have been overwritten in this reality, and was only saved by you. I would most likely degrade her confidence further, which would only accelerate the entropic exchange."

"Telling Suzumiya-chan that her bad mood got people killed would probably crush her spirits," Koizumi says with an apologetic shrug. "Same thing, Kyon."

"So ... both of you ... just like Mikuru ... are saying that when it gets right down to it, it's up to me?"

"Hasn't it always been that way?"

You know, I think he's got a point.

"Okay. I need time to think about this. I've got a plan, kind of, but I may need to wait until things destabilize further," I say, nodding. "I'll go over it with Mikuru. Yuki-chan, try and protect Haruhi if you can. Koizumi, if you get any useful information, let Yuki-chan know. And ... if you can, Yuki-chan, I'd like a copy of what we know Haruhi read. Though, we'd better make sure she doesn't see it again."

"Understood, Brevet-Brigade-Chief," Koizumi says with a wink. "And ... Nagato-san, if I could trouble you ... I need to return to the park now. Otherwise the Coalition will likely see my arrival."

"Yes," Yuki-chan murmurs to me. "It will be in your book bag. At this node, all utility functions will be at your discretion, Kyon-kun."

"Okay," I say with a nod. "Then I'd better get home and get some sleep. I think tomorrow's going to be a busy day."

* * *

Author's notes: The next chapter is the last one.


	5. Chapter 4

The Blunt Force Trauma of Suzumiya Haruhi

Chapter four: In which there is a plan, and everything comes together, or falls apart.

A 'Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' fanfic.

Disclaimer: The novel 'Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. I do not know the producers yet, but the animation company responsible is Kyoto Animation. No disrespect is intended by the posting of this fanfiction, as I do not own the characters or settings involved. I'm merely dabbling with another set of paints. )

* * *

Yuki-chan's teleportation is highly convenient. I'd appreciate it more if it wasn't only available in apparently life-threatening situations, but I'll take what I can get.

After being sent home I slept poorly, tossing all night and wondering if my plan would be ready in time. And it's clear to me I'm going to need to set things in motion, soon. Aside from the subtle threats lurking around the corner to destroy reality....

Bah.

I would have slept better if I hadn't stayed up most of the night reading (and rereading) the notebook that Yuki-chan left for me. The one that was originally given to Haruhi. She even managed to reproduce the missing pages. Well, the tears of where those pages _were_, anyway.

It basically outlines that Taniguchi is an alien, sent to monitor Haruhi. Haruhi has the power to change the world with her belief in it. It names Mikuru as a timetraveler sent to watch over Haruhi. Koizumi is explained as being the one Haruhi can most depend on. Taniguchi remained loyal to his masters, and the data thought entity is not mentioned. Neither is Yuki-chan, actually.

Now, if the missing pages are what I think they are, then they tell Haruhi that I like Mikuru, and nothing she can do could change that. Bur why would the notebook also say what it had about Koizumi? Unless it was meant to act as a wedge between us. Or maybe, since Taniguchi had to know that Yuki-chan meant what she said about protecting me, it was meant to convince Haruhi to preserve Koizumi so that he could kill me. Yuki-chan might not see that coming.

But obviously, if that was the plan, it failed. Then again, Yuki-chan admits that the data thought entity didn't understand Haruhi well enough yet. Why would they observe her, otherwise? So it may have been a gamble on Taniguchi's part ... a gamble on Koizumi instead of me. Though, at a guess, Taniguchi didn't know which of Koizumi's memories Haruhi would let him keep.

Haunted by those thoughts, and probably thinking much too hard about the situation, is it any wonder I didn't sleep?

Koizumi's late-night coffee probably didn't help.

When my alarm goes off, I ignore it -- though, I was awake before it began. Some pleasantly normal things still happen; my little sister drags me out of bed and makes me get up.

Again: Bah.

But no use grousing. After breakfast, I meet Mikuru at the door. She's got a book in her hands. It's 'The Japanese Medical Association's Guide to Dealing With Head-Trauma'. How handy.

"Good morning, Kyon, little sister!"

"Good morning, Mikuru-nee-chan!"

"Ah," I manage. Everything proceeds in comfortable, companionable silence until after Mikuru and I head to the train station, seeing my sibling safely off with her friends. "So, what's that book for?" I ask.

"It's nothing forbidden," she assures me. So, no books from the future, at least. Or, probably even our own world. Which means this is a book about Haruhi's world. "Now, I left the costume you wanted me to get in my bag," and she blushes slightly, giving me a smile and not meeting my eyes at that part, "but I remembered what you wanted to talk about. So I studied up on it!"

"From that book?"

"No, this lets me know what the differences are, since I thought that'd be the most important part."

Very true.... Mikuru is far cleverer than her distractingly innocent veneer makes it appear. We spend the rest of the walk -- and the train ride -- with her lecturing me about head trauma and proper treatment. The other students on the train stare at me, and I catch a murmur of, "Is he studying to become a doctor?"

There's an odd thought.

When we get to school, I avoid any unwelcome savage beatings, crowds of self-appointed-Mikuru-defenders (Tsuruya included, thank you very much), and Kunikida. Mikuru and I spend fifteen minutes on the roof in an out-of-the-way spot while I try and repeat what she told me to make sure I understand it.

This is much more complicated than I originally thought. Well, if it were easy, I guess anyone would be able to save the world, and that's why it falls on me, right?

So that's class. We spend break and lunch doing the same thing. At the end of it, I think I've got enough to try and put the plan together.

To try, anyway. But before plans, there's a club meeting.

Haruhi seems calmer, more reserved throughout the school day. Maybe yesterday left her in a good mood. That's probably for the best.

When I get to the clubroom, she's already there, sitting behind her desk and doodling. Yuki-chan is reading yet another book -- today's title is 'The System of the World' -- but glances at me as I enter. Mikuru is running late, and there's no sign of Koizumi yet.

"You're here," Haruhi says in approval. "Good. Now, what should we do today? I think baseball might be fun."

How about not, Haruhi? Not again, anyway. "Maybe," I answer. "We don't have enough people, though. And I'm pretty sure that they have a club meeting today, so we won't have anywhere to play." Actually, I know this. Though, Haruhi didn't let it stop her before.

"That's fine! With our star athlete skills, they'll let us join for a day or two! And if they don't, we can beat them with our fewer numbers and _really_ humiliate them into accepting us!" She grins and clenches her fist dramatically in the air as she says this, looking more like her old self.

Mikuru peeks into the classroom and then enters at this point. Dressed in her school uniform, of course -- it's not time for the plan yet.

"What are we doing today?" she asks brightly.

Koizumi enters a moment later, his smile seeming more cheerful and less false than it has been lately. "Hello!" he calls, before echoing Mikuru's question.

"Baseball," Haruhi says, now sounding completely decided. "We're going to show the school what our club can really do! If we set our minds and hearts to it, our youthful spirit can overcome any obstacle! Defeat any foe! Crush any other club! Starting with a plan I like to call, 'Operation SOS Brigade vs. Sports clubs!' Next week, we'll destroy the art clubs, too. Then after that, we can take on the cultural clubs, and the study clubs."

"What a marvelous plan," Koizumi agrees, taking a seat.

Mikuru blinks and looks doubtful. "Is ... that okay with everyone? You destroying all the other clubs?"

"We won't really destroy them," Haruhi assures, rising from her seat and slapping both palms flat on the table, leaning forward and grinning. "We're just going to totally humiliate them! And then, yeah, we'll take the best members from each club as we see fit, and assemble an even better and bigger SOS Brigade!"

Wow, she looks so enthusiastic, I almost hate to make her sad. Though, that seems like a really silly idea, trying to be some sort of 'best of everything' club. "Well, why don't you go ask the Baseball club if we can play?" I suggest.

"Me?" she says, indignantly, straightening up. "I'm the Brigade Chief! I should have a subordinate do it. Like, Yuki! Yuki, you can go give the challenge." She turns to look at Yuki-chan.

Looking up from her book slowly, Yuki-chan turns to look at me for guidance, and I can feel a Yuki-chan tingle. I give a tiny shake of my head, and say, "Well, that should be it, then. She'll give our challenge, and I'm sure they won't refuse. This is the SOS Brigade, after all."

"Of course," Yuki-chan replies, marking her place in the book and setting it down. "I will return."

She silently trots out of clubroom and into the hallway. Haruhi has already moved on to something else. "Alright. Kyon, you and I are the star players, so you're going to have to hit a ton of home runs. A ton, you hear! We can't just beat them, we have to totally cream them!"

"I'll give it my best," I tell her, offering her a smile, trying to ignore the churning sensation in my stomach. This will not end well, I suspect.

Koizumi shrugs, and Mikuru serves everyone a cup of tea. We sip in silence for a minute, except for Haruhi, who is making a big checklist of clubs to beat, and a schedule for when it'll all be finished. Yuki-chan opens the door and enters.

"Well, let's get ready to go," Haruhi says, pushing her paper away and standing up.

"We were refused," Yuki-chan says in that flat, quiet voice. "Our challenge was declined." Haruhi blinks in surprise while Yuki-chan goes back to her book, picking it up right where she left off.

"Maybe," I suggest, "they just need to see you to know that you're serious."

"Nope," Haruhi says, upset. Her face is drawn and her eyes are narrowed in annoyance. She doesn't quite puff out her cheeks like a child, but she looks dangerous when she's angry. I think even if she did look more like a child I'd be wary, though. "We're all going together."

Without waiting for a confirmation that we're following, she storms out of the classroom. I shrug and we move to pursue. Koizumi sidles up to me and whispers, "Is this part of your plan?"

"Not exactly," I whisper back, "but I'm working with it."

"What do we do?"

"Lose," I say with a tight smile. "Badly. I have to play my hardest, and so does she. So I'm depending on you."

"I hope you know what you're doing," he replies, just before Haruhi stops and looks back at us.

"Hey!" she snaps. We fall silent, and I swallow anxiously. "Where is the baseball club, again?" she asks.

...and here I was worried she overheard something.

"I can show the way," Yuki-chan answers, not looking up from her text. That Yuki-chan tingle isn't going away. I actually find that comforting, at this point.

Haruhi nods, and Yuki-chan leads the way. Shortly, we arrive at the field, and there's the club, practicing their hearts out. Of course, according to what Kunikida said, they're trying for Koushien, so they'd probably better.

Without more than a second to identify the student wearing the 'manager' jersey, Haruhi storms over and demands, "What's the meaning of refusing the SOS Brigade's challenge?"

The coach is a large boy. One of those who -- this is worth noting -- was in the 'Crush Kyon for making Mikuru cry!' crowd. My day just couldn't get any better.

He furrows his brow and glances across the lot of us before he looks at Haruhi. "You think you can play us?" he asks, unimpressed.

"You bet!" Haruhi answers. "I tried out for the girls' team, you know. I dropped out right away, but they wanted me back. You think we can't play?"

"You, maybe," the manager replies grudgingly. "But your friend back there with the head injury walked on us. You think we're going to respect him enough for a challenge?" Then he turns his head and spits.

Oh, good. At least he hates me for me, and not just because of Mikuru.

Again, it should be noted that when you get right down to it, it's really Haruhi's fault.

"I know he's good enough that you want him back," Haruhi replies, nodding knowingly. "And this is the only way you're going to get to play either with or against him. So let's have it."

The big guy stares at Haruhi for a moment, then looks at me. Then Mikuru, Koizumi, and Yuki-chan. Mikuru is trembling and frightened -- obviously not prime baseball material. Koizumi is difficult to read, and performed fairly well in our last game ... but they can't know that. Yuki-chan looks timid and harmless. We're also short a few members.

"I'm not going to play against you," the manager decides abruptly. Haruhi begins to look angry again, and Koizumi winces, checking his cell phone. A text message from the Coalition, no doubt; I felt a definite esper-tingle over that remark. "Not a real game, anyway."

"Then what are you suggesting?" Haruhi asks with narrowed eyes. "A test of skills? Like a batting contest?"

"Sure. We'll do the full course; batting, pitching, fielding. Everyone gets ten chances at each activity," he replies. "I'll be nice, and even let you pitch to your own classmates. And, by all means -- you go first."

"Right," Haruhi says, brightening instantly. She spins to face me and says, "It's up to us, Ky--" And then she freezes, flinching slightly, and masks it with a cough. "Koizumi," she says instead. "Let's do it! Kyon, you and Mikuru keep up, too!"

Well, that's about what I expected, more or less. We arrange ourselves in the dugout, since batting is up first. Mikuru and Yuki-chan sit to one side of me, Mikuru being closer. Yuki-chan is flipping through her book. "Um, Kyon," Mikuru hazards, while Koizumi throws Haruhi the first pitch. She nails it, of course, and that ball flees the premises.

My favorite timetraveler then continues, "A...are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"I hope so," I answer with a shrug. "Just get out there and give it your best, Mikuru-chan. Yuki-chan, you know what to do, right?"

"I am certain you will succeed," the quiet girl replies, still reading her book. And another hit from Haruhi.

"T...then.... What about the ... um...." She trails off and blushes. I spend a moment looking at Mikuru's face, the way it pinkens. I'm not looking, but hear the telltale sound of another impact, and a muttered curse from the manager. I know Haruhi's still doing her best ... but that keeps me from really enjoying the view.

I look up; Yuki-chan is staring directly at me, across Mikuru. "When we finish this," I say softly, "I want you to rush back to the clubroom, change, and then run past us in the hallway. You'll need to change again in the bathroom, and then come back. I need you to do it as quickly as possible, no matter what."

"W...why?" Mikuru asks.

I look back in time; after another hit, Haruhi looks back to her SOS Brigade for encouragement. Mikuru and I jump to our feet and wave encouragingly.

"Just trust me," I reply. "Yuki-chan, when Mikuru gets back to the clubroom, I'm going to want everyone to pretend that we didn't see her running past us."

"Understood," Yuki-chan says softly.

I take a deep breath and then turn to watch Haruhi. After ten hits -- and she hits them all, of course -- it's Koizumi's turn to bat. I get to pitch for him. He hits six times, and I don't need to make it look like I'm trying against him. Haruhi, of course, yells from the sidelines that he's going to get a penalty.

Yuki pitches for me. Seeing what she's doing while feeling the Yuki-chan tingle is unnerving, and almost cost me the first hit. But sure enough, that first hit _is_ a hit. It makes that sweet sound of an aluminum bat kissing the ball, and I stare -- somewhat stunned, I'll admit -- and watch the thing leave the school entirely.

The manager snorts and calls out, "Somewhere there's a broken window and a bill with your name on it, Head-case!"

I find I actually prefer the 'Kyon' nickname, suddenly. And, not if this world is destroyed, Manager-san. I give Yuki-chan a shake of my head. She actually looks the tiniest bit guilty, and gives me a miniscule nod back. The next pitch is a hard one, but there's no tingle.

I rocket it into the deep outfield. Much better than I ever remember playing before, honestly. I guess Haruhi has faith in me; I haven't heard her cheer yet, though Mikuru offers her encouragement. It doesn't take long to finish, though. After me, (ten hits, thank you), Mikuru pitched to Yuki-chan.

Haruhi got really steamed at that one; the esper-tingles got disconcerting at that point. Mikuru only threw two pitches across the plate evenly, and Yuki-chan only swung at one.

It went foul.

That gave us twenty-six hits out of a possible forty. After Haruhi pitched to Mikuru, it was twenty-six to fifty. This set the pattern for the rest of the exercises. Haruhi and I were at the top of our game, Koizumi did decently, and Yuki-chan and Mikuru....

Adorable, miserable failures. Bless them for it.

At the end, the manager shook his head and grunted, "You lose. Now stay off my field; we've got Koushien to train for." And the he turned to me and said, "Head-case.... If you want to come back, I think you'd do really well. But you'd need to ditch her, first." Her being Haruhi, of course.

"No thanks," I answer, before Haruhi can try and rent me out. I guess she probably wouldn't do that now, though, but she might get upset about it. "I'd rather stay with my friends."

"Bastard," Haruhi seethes. Mikuru straightens suddenly and runs off. Haruhi doesn't notice, and growls, stalking back to the clubroom.

You know, I've heard that some girls are cute when they're angry. Haruhi is not one of them. She looks genuinely intimidating, like a tiger that's just had its meal taken from it. I can almost imagine a tail lashing behind her when she walks like that, hands in fists and stiff at her sides, trembling with barely restrained fury.

We're in the hallway when we see Mikuru again. Her face is flushed with exertion, and she looks more winded than she did after yesterdays arduous track excursion. "Excuse me," she calls, passing by with only a single backwards glance at me. It's difficult not to stare at her in that nurse's outfit. I manage, though. Haruhi breaks from her funk long enough to turn around and stare in confusion, but Mikuru is quickly out of sight.

"Did you just...?" she begins, turning to look at me.

I look as bored and tired as possible.

"Was there...." She trails off with a frown.

"Something wrong?" I ask. "I was just thinking about the challenge. I'm sorry, Suzumiya-san. Maybe if I practiced harder--"

"Nah," she sighs, slumping, releasing some of her anger. "You were perfect, Kyon. Really, the problem was _these_ three-- Wait." She frowns and looks between Koizumi and Yuki-chan. "Yuki, where's Mikuru?"

"Mikuru left us after the challenge," Yuki-chan replies quietly.

"Y...yeah, but.... Kyon, you're her boyfriend." She turns to me. "Where did she go?"

"To the clubroom, I'm sure," I answer. It amuses me suddenly to realize that while Yuki-chan and I are both deceiving Haruhi, neither of us outright lies.

Koizumi catches on quickly. "We should go there and look for her," he says. Of course, he's also deflecting irritation from Haruhi at being one of the people responsible for us losing -- not that he really had a chance against those baseball nuts.

"Right," Haruhi agrees. When we get to the club, Mikuru is -- somehow -- already there. It's possible she ran faster than ever before, changed in a bathroom, and then ran back on the lower floor. But this seems far less likely to me than that she took me literally, and cheated. I didn't know she could timetravel so easily.

She's slumped over a table, looking worn and winded. She looks up when we enter, blinking away fatigue. "I'm sorry," she murmurs. "I ... I really didn't do well."

For a moment, Haruhi looks about ready to explode, rediscovering her lost temper. Then it suddenly fails her.

Let me tell you something about Haruhi. I said that she did not look cute when she's angry, and this is true. But Haruhi -- I strongly hope that she never hears about this -- looks utterly adorable when she's at a loss for words, more sad than anything else. It makes me want to tell her that everything will be alright, and....

No time for that now.

"It doesn't matter," Haruhi sighs. "I thought we could do it. I guess not, though. I mean ... Yuki and Mikuru aren't athletes, right?"

Yuki nods, going back to her book. Mikuru bows her head. "I'm sorry."

"Doesn't matter, doesn't matter," she sighs again.

"Well, what do we do now?" I ask. "We lost this challenge, but...."

"But nothing," Haruhi grumbles, taking her seat behind her desk and crossing her arms over it, laying her head on them and staring at the wall towards the kettle. "We could do it, Kyon. I.... With you I always thought...." She sighs, closing her eyes. "Doesn't matter."

Koizumi begins fiddling with his cell. I switch mine to 'silent', expecting a text message. While waiting for it, I set up the table for a round of Othello. Not that I can focus on the game. Koizumi can't either, but in short order I get: 'Do you know what you're doing?'

Haruhi's distracted, so the game flounders a bit while I reply: 'Yes. Are things bad?'

Koizumi gives me a frank nod. I offer him an apologetic smile, and send another text: 'How long?'

This gives him pause for thought, and I take some time to study the board. Again, I'm losing. Worse than usual. Typical, I guess. Then: 'Hours at most. Many espers dead.'

That costs me the concept of pleasant distraction. It's chilling to know that you're responsible for deaths like that. Especially on a gamble. I wonder if I can justify it. If I succeed, I won't have to. I mean, the people I'd need to justify it _to_ would all be....

Ugh. This is terrible. But I can't stop now. I realize that I probably brought things to this point specifically so that I _couldn't_ back down. We need to get back to our own world, and this one was just set to collapse eventually.

I just sped things up.

A lot.

Time for another push. Sighing, I concede the game. Koizumi puts it away, and Mikuru starts to pack up her bag. "Time to go home?" I ask Haruhi.

"Huh?" she responds, looking up slowly. Has she been crying, with her face on the desk like that? I wouldn't have been able to see her face ... it's possible. Though, that just makes me feel even worse. "O...oh. Yeah. Yeah, you can go, Kyon. Everyone can go."

"Tomorrow will be a better day," I say, as reassuringly as I can.

"I'd like to believe that," Haruhi murmurs. "But.... Oh, it doesn't matter."

I shrug, and take my bag into the hallway. Haruhi lays her head on the desk and doesn't look up. After a minute, Yuki-chan, Mikuru, and Koizumi join me. We move down the hallway to make sure we're out of earshot.

"I'm really worried," Koizumi says frankly. "I would be helping the other espers right now, but I think we've let the balance become skewed. I don't think I could make a difference against the Celestials, now."

"I'm not sure what I did helped things at all, either," Mikuru says anxiously. "Kyon...."

"The data integrity of this space is corrupting," Yuki-chan adds.

"So, because of what I did, reality is becoming unstable around Haruhi?" I ask.

"That would seem to be the case."

"Yes."

"Correct."

"Well, that's what we need," I say with a shrug. "As I understand it, if we're careless, or take too long, because of how things went, Haruhi could end up losing her powers -- for good. If that happens before we get back where we belong, we're toast." This may not be true for Yuki-chan or Mikuru, but I think it actually is.

"That's true enough," Koizumi agrees. "But what are you hoping to accomplish?"

"I need to get Haruhi to the point where she's willing to try and rewrite reality again completely," I say with a shrug. "Then I'll stop her."

"How.... How will that set things back the way they were?" Mikuru asks, looking very confused.

"Put on your nurse's outfit again, and come into the clubroom in fifteen minutes," I instruct. "I'm going to try and convince Haruhi of what I just said a few minutes ago."

"I still trust you," Yuki-chan says. "Though, it would be prudent to make a backup at this node."

"In a minute," I tell her. I glance at Mikuru, who gives me a hesitant nod, then runs for the girls' bathroom to change. "Koizumi, Yuki-chan.... Closed space is decaying, or corrupting into our world. We need to make Haruhi make her change before that; if she sees all the espers who've died, or the destruction of the Celestials, we could lose it all. Does that make sense?"

"A fine line," Koizumi says, frowning. "I think I understand."

"Your timing will need to be very precise," Yuki-chan adds.

"I know," I sigh. "Will I know when Haruhi's using her power?"

Yuki-chan hesitates, and then shrugs. "If you can be aware of data-creation and autoevolution, it is possible."

"Time for another push," I decide. I face Koizumi and clap my hands on his shoulders, leaning close. His turn to look uncomfortable at my nearness. "Koizumi. I'm sorry. It's time for you to go break up with your girlfriend."

"What?" he nearly yelps, biting his tongue and looking back towards the clubroom anxiously. "Why?"

"Um.... You didn't like the way she was looking at me during our challenge today. You're jealous. Something like that. Make up a reason -- the worse it is, the better."

"She's going to flip out," he protests, shaking his head quickly.

"Not as quickly as if I were to go in and ask her to change the world back first," I reply. "I trust you. And I know that Haruhi likes you enough to be thrown off by that. I also know that Haruhi doesn't like you enough to really want to date you, so she won't be too hurt. This should cause her to change things before closed space gets out of hand." I hope. I certainly sound confident, or at least, I suppose I must. Koizumi hesitates, then nods.

"I'll do it," he says. Then he pushes my hands away, stands up straight, and smiles weakly. "Wish me luck," he mutters.

"Wait," I caution him.

He hesitates, and I turn back to Yuki-chan. "Can you back him up, too? I don't want to risk everything; if we blow this, and she recreates the world, we might get another chance. I don't want to depend on it, but I'd rather not face it without your help. Either of you."

Yuki-chan nods quietly, and then in one smooth motion grabs my collar, Koizumi's collar, and yanks both of us down to knock heads before she presses her forehead against both of ours at the same time. Definite Yuki-chan tingle; it leaves me on the floor. Koizumi seems to have taken it better, though he wobbles a bit.

"Go to it," I tell him, while climbing to my feet. He runs down the hallway, leaving me with Yuki-chan.

"You have a role for me."

Not a question, but she was just in my head, so she must already know. "Will it work?" I ask her, instead of replying.

"Faith is an odd thing," she says in answer. "It is belief, and trust. Trust is an extension of permission, and belief is knowledge of data, verified or not. I am glad I was able to make a backup here. Because, Kyon ... I have faith in you. As I know Haruhi must. And...."

She hesitates, looking almost embarrassed. She even looks away from meeting my eyes, like Mikuru.

I smile at her, and raise my hand, touching her cheek gently, turning her face to mine. "And you think she's got faith in me?"

She nods.

"I have faith in you, too, Yuki-chan. Just make sure you don't hurt anyone if you can help it. Now go take apart the school, one data structure at a time."

She nods again, and one hand rises to brush over mine. This time I know it's not my imagination; she really does lean into me. And then she's gone, nothing but sparkling streams of ... it must be data. I can feel the tingle in the back of my head and my hand at the same time, now. And the Yuki-chan tingle doesn't fade at all. Glancing out a window, I watch a tree burst into swirling light.

At the same time, Haruhi's indignant yell explodes from the clubroom. "What do you mean?" she cries. "You're _dumping_ me?"

Ah.... That went well. Mikuru appears at the end of the hallway in her nurse's outfit, and looking quite nervous. "Am I early?" she asks in a quiet voice.

"A little," I say. "Wait here a bit longer. I'll trust your judgment on when you should come in."

"Get out of my sight!" Haruhi rages. Koizumi obligingly does just that, hightailing it into the hallway, and then running towards us with a fearful glance behind. I give him an encouraging nod, and turn to the clubroom door, which he left open. I catch him stepping into closed space as he passes, vanishing into a curtain of gray shades.

When we get to the clubroom, Haruhi is standing behind her desk, once again furious, though now there are unshed tears shining in her eyes.

Okay. I take it back.

Haruhi can be cute when she's angry.

But this is hardly the time for that. "Haruhi," I say softly. She looks up at me, suddenly petulant.

"Kyon," she mumbles, crossing her arms over her chest and looking away, huffing slightly. "What do you want?"

"To help you," I answer, stepping into the room, tossing my bag on the table, and stopping a few steps away from her.

"Oh," she says quietly, sighing, running a hand through the tangle of braids and ponytails she's got now. "W...well. You should get b...back to Mikuru, you know. S...she'll be looking for you."

Maybe Koizumi hurt Haruhi worse than we'd planned.... No, no time for that. If this is all a dream, it won't matter. Right. I have to stick to the plan.

"No, she won't," I answer.

"W...why?" she asks, surprised. "Koizumi just.... Just dumped me. Did you and Mikuru break up?"

"We never went out," I say apologetically. "We were never dating in the first place."

"What?" She shakes her head, and turns around. Yuki-chan's timing is perfect; Haruhi gets to watch a segment of fence outside collapse into another display of sparkling lights. "N...no! This can't--"

"It is," I say, taking a step closer, and catching one of Haruhi's hands in mine. "Look. Think about this, Haruhi. What's happened to you lately?"

"What's happened to _you_?" she protests. "You've been.... This is all.... Nothing _worked_!"

"Tell me what was supposed to happen, then," I try.

My bag vanishes from the table, along with the windows.

"I.... I wanted you to be happy, damn it!" Now she is crying, though she won't face me, just staring outside at the school Yuki-chan is actively disassembling. Yuki-chan's efforts are initially minimal, but take off spectacularly when a flash of closed space levels a nearby block of buildings.

Things are escalating ... Haruhi, can't you just change it all back already?

"I wanted you to have what you wanted! You and that girl you always make stupid faces at ... it's ... it's all my fault, anyway. You would never have met her if I didn't bring her into our club, and...." She stops to sniffle, bowing her head.

I look through the smoke and dust, worried. The tingle told me what it was, but.... No Celestial. Perhaps Koizumi's in there right now, fighting it....

"I w...wanted to make a p...perfect world for you, Kyon. S...shouldn't my powers be used for good?" Another sniffle.

Oh, Haruhi.... "If you had that kind of powers," I say as agreeable as possible, "then you would probably best use them to benefit everyone, not just one person."

"What did I do wrong?" she demands, tearing her hand free of my grip and turning to face me. "Even, well, even when you decided to join the club again, I tried my best! I tried to act like I didn't care about you and Mikuru, but everything's falling apart! And you don't pay attention to her? What's not good enough?"

"None of this is real," I say, as Yuki-chan (almost obligingly, it seems) dissolves the desk, the tables in the middle of the room, and the half-opened door.

Mikuru gives a frightened yelp and runs in, looking behind her anxiously. "Things are getting bad!" she wails, falling to the floor by my side and clinging to my leg. "Really bad! I want to go home!"

I don't know how it was easier to focus on Haruhi than Mikuru. "Suzumiya Haruhi, do you know where you are?"

"In ... in school, at my club," she answers, staring between me and Mikuru in confusion. The school is still dissolving, somehow no students in sight. The ceiling goes first, so nothing falls on us. Above is the unfriendly, unwelcoming sky of closed space.

Did we cross over somehow? That would make things a bit easier.

"What's going on?"

"Victims of head trauma often enter a comatose state. Sometimes, within this state," and here, I try my best not to sound like me, standing stiff and staring straight at her, "patients may enter a trance or a dream-world of their own devising." This is underscored by a rising Celestial, leveling the gym across the yard.

"W...what?" Haruhi asks, blinking in confusion, shakily glancing back at the glowing giant. There is no red-wrapped Koizumi to fight it ... or any other esper in sight, either. I can feel esper-tingles, though.

"N...no, that's not right. I.... I have a power. I can change the world! I can put this school back together!" She turns her back on me and clenches her hands into fists at her sides, bristling with determination. The Yuki-chan tingle is there ... and I can feel the esper-tingle, though it's worryingly weak. I don't get any kind of Haruhi-tingle. But she begins to glow softly.

"These delusions and fantasies aren't a true comatose state, because the brain is perfectly functional; they're logically a symptom of the patient being unwilling to accept the condition that they're currently in."

The school flickers for a moment. The ceiling is restored, only to dissolve in light again. Mikuru whimpers, "Wake up!" Ah, she is smart.

Haruhi turns again, staring at me in bewilderment. "Y...you're saying that this is all in my _head_?" she asks me in disbelief. "But you're Kyon! This is the school!"

"These are all things you made up," I say with a shrug. "I am just a figment of your own imagination. Think about it; when you were on the island, it was Kyon that gave you the hints you needed to solve the mystery. Now that you're facing another one, your mind calls on the same symbol again."

I haven't gotten to the head-trauma stuff, but the psychology nonsense sounded pretty convincing, I have to admit. Haruhi looks at me in surprise.

"S...so, I'm ... hurt? Something happened to me?"

This is where things get tricky. Good thing Mikuru read up on this. "All you can know is what you knew from before," I say apologetically. "Though...." I turn to her.

"It's possible that you could also assemble fragmentary bits of information from what you overheard and added to your dream world," she offers, suddenly businesslike for an instant before she goes back to bawling about wanting to go home. Perfect; this scene could not be any more surreal.

As I think that, it actually does. The clubroom floor vanishes, and we're all left hanging in space for a minute before we tumble through the air. Mikuru was already clinging to me, so I manage to make her fall atop me. I work my way under Haruhi, too, just like when we fell off that cliff....

I make a better cushion than I thought. Now we're in a hollow shell of a building, which is disappearing in large pieces. I think the two of them might have cracked a rib or something. Maybe worse. When Mikuru and Haruhi climb off of me, I feel a pain in my chest. Not good, but if I pretend I'm fine, it'll throw Haruhi off enough to make this story believable.

I hope.

When we're all standing, Mikuru immediately clings to my leg again. Haruhi blinks and stares at me in confusion.

"So, what happened to me, then? What ... do I do?"

"Thinking about things, your last clear memory before you created your dream," I begin, before shrugging. Ah, damn. It hurts to breathe. This is not good! The distant Celestial pauses, as a segment of the building it was going to strike vanishes, then turns around, away from us.

Is Yuki-chan distracting it from us? Thank goodness for that.

"It's most likely that your memories just before the incident are somewhat jumbled, and unreliable," Mikuru supplies for me. "So there's a root of truth there, in addition to what your subconscious has gathered."

"My ... subconscious? My inner voices are made out of my friends?" Haruhi asks, her tears forgotten. I'd forget to cry too -- if I didn't think that I just broke a rib and pierced a lung. There's a definite feeling of something warm and wet in my chest on one side. Or maybe it's just my imagination ... but not good either way. Mikuru stands up and nods, and I drape an arm over her shoulders. This was not to feel her better, it was to keep myself steady.

Unfortunately.

Haruhi turns and looks. More scenery is vanishing, bit by bit, the Celestial trying to smash something we can't see, sending up clouds of dust. "My dream is falling apart," she says, nodding slowly. "So. I was on the rooftop...."

She hesitates, then turns and looks back at Mikuru and I. It takes almost everything I have to offer an encouraging smile. I don't think I trust myself to speak anymore. My breath is getting raspy, and it's a struggle to hide that from Haruhi.

How was I able to handle a fall from a cliff so much better than this? Maybe it doesn't matter.

"I had a notebook. From Taniguchi. It said I had powers, but.... But maybe I'm not remembering that right. Maybe ... it said something _like_ that. It also said...." She slumps and turns away.

I sag immediately to my knees. Mikuru looks worried, glancing between us, still holding my hand.

"It said that Kyon couldn't ... ever love me. That I was too weird. But it also said to meet Taniguchi on the roof." She hesitates. "That can't be it. It was ... a suicide note."

I stare, aghast, but unable to speak. This is _not_ what I'd planned! Mikuru is equally stunned.

"That's it! I'd been too obvious!" She turns to face us again, but her attention is elsewhere. "It makes perfect sense! Taniguchi seems like a normal guy! He hides it behind his supposed obsession with women, but he's actually a murderer!"

She pauses. I force myself to nod. This might be workable.

"Someone who _wants_ to be a murderer," she corrects herself. "So he writes something that would make sense to me ... taking advantage of a person like me! He knows I want to meet aliens, and timetravelers, and espers ... and somehow he figured out that I liked Kyon, too!"

This sends a curious stab through my chest. Not altogether unpleasant, or unanticipated. It doesn't really alleviate the previous stab of a pierced lung, however. Sorry, folks. True love can unmake worlds, but doesn't seem to do much for your respiratory system.

Heh.

"So he leaves me a notebook that appeals to me, claiming to be an alien. The pages I took out of the notebook were the ones that he'd force me to copy, to make a suicide note. A letter about how I loved Kyon and couldn't have him. But I wouldn't! Though ... that means I must have seen through his plan! I went to confront him!"

She frowns suddenly, and turns to look at me. "What went wrong?" she asks. "I'm not ... dead, am I?"

"No," I say, shaking my head. I can't manage more than that.

Mikuru keeps up the act, while also keeping me from collapsing. "You chose to challenge him on his own terms, didn't you?" she asks.

"That's right." Haruhi shakes her head. "But he didn't kill me. He must have pushed me off the rooftop. No, there's a fence. He must have hit me, and knocked me out. But then.... What about Kyon? Why do I remember Kyon on the rooftop? And why was he with you?"

I groan; the pain is simply too much. "Kyon is my hero," Mikuru says, her eyes filling with tears. And we'd been doing so well, too! Why does it have to end like this?

Haruhi's eyes widen. "Of course," she gasps. "That's what I knew! We didn't think he could possibly-- Taniguchi hit me over the head. Kyon was my hero! He rescued me! That must be it! That's why in my dream, Kyon had a head wound!"

I force a grin I _really_ don't feel, and nod. Mikuru smiles too, the effect completely spoiled for me by the tears in her eyes. "Please wake up," she whispers. "Come back to Kyon."

I'm growing short of breath ... what an unfair landing. At least I kept Haruhi from being hurt. That might have cost us. I'm sure Yuki-chan didn't mean for it to be like this ... or maybe it's just because of the closed space collapse. Does it really matter?

"Kyon!" Haruhi cries. Everything is going very dim, but she launches herself at me, tears streaming from her eyes....

And, well, that's when the world goes away.

I mean, again.

* * *

Author's notes: Shorter than planned, but hopefully not enough to make it suffer.


	6. Epilogue

The Blunt Force Trauma of Suzumiya Haruhi

Epilogue: In which the story concludes.

A 'Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' fanfic.

Disclaimer: The novel 'Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. I do not know the producers yet, but the animation company responsible is Kyoto Animation. No disrespect is intended by the posting of this fanfiction, as I do not own the characters or settings involved. I'm merely dabbling with another set of paints. )

* * *

I awake in a hospital.

My first thought is to wonder how long it will take me to drown on my own blood. This is before I realize where I am, of course. Then I realize I'm fine, and fell asleep in a chair. In a hospital room.

Before a bed. With Haruhi in it.

I rub the sleep from my eyes and stand up. From my perspective, I've just been through a hell of a day. But Haruhi....

She looks fine when I stand over her. In a hospital gown, her blankets tucked across her chest. Her arms are on top, and she's got an IV stuck in her, as well as a number of things which look very expensive that I don't really know what to call.

I pay them little attention; this is Haruhi we're talking about. She looks fine, though. No wounds, only a single bandage around her head. I'm still not sure how she managed to convince herself after the act that we put on ... but it got us back home, I guess. As I look at her, she makes a quiet, struggling noise, and her face scrunches up in concentration. "Nn.... Nnnng." Then her eyes drift open, clouded, but locking onto mine almost instantly. Two blinks later and those same eyes narrow. "What are you doing here?"

"Here?" I ask, raising an eyebrow. "You come out of a coma, and that's the first thing you say to me?"

"And that's the first thing you say to me?" she retorts.

I have something in my eyes there. While I rub at them, I say, "Oh. Well, welcome back, Haruhi. Though I knew you'd get better."

"Did you?" she asks quietly, sitting up. I help her, when she seems to need it. She doesn't say anything else until she's comfortable, able to look at me without peering upwards. Then, she says, "I had a really crazy dream."

"The doctors said you might," I allow, nodding. "I'm just glad you're okay."

"How long was I out? And why _are_ you here?"

"Koizumi's busy running the Brigade," I answer with a shrug. "As far as how long.... Let's just say that it was too long for me."

She blushes very slightly at that. "What, you missed me?" she challenges.

"Maybe," I say with a shrug. "Now that you're awake, I want to tell everyone else. But I don't want to leave you alone."

"I'm sleepy," she says with a yawn. "So that's fine. Bring me something chocolate when you come back. And Koizumi! I need to see what he's doing with the Brigade."

"Of course," I say with a laugh. "And then you'll need to tell me all about your dream. Let me guess," I say, smirking. "You dreamed you were a princess of a magical kingdom filled with alien timetravelers."

"No," she says, shaking her head. "I wouldn't have minded that."

"So it was a bad dream?"

"There are no princesses," she says, rolling her eyes. "And if there were, I'd be the princess of the SOS Brigade."

"A princess in a world of dragons," I say.

She giggles at that. "I guess," she answers, surprisingly shy all of the sudden. "Did.... You did save me, didn't you?"

"Yeah," I say slowly, looking away. "Though.... Well. Tell me about your dream. Was I in it?"

She suddenly looks more nervous. "Um.... Maybe later. I'm tired."

"Mmmm. Well, I'll tell a doctor you're awake, I'm sure they'll want to take a look at you." From a personal experience, which may or may not ever have happened. She pouts at that. What did I really expect?

"Could you stay a little longer?" she asks me in a very quiet, un-Haruhi-like voice.

Not that, I suppose.

XXX

After the doctors and nurses chased me out of the hospital, much later, I turned my cell phone back on and called up Mikuru, Koizumi, and Yuki-chan in turn. They agreed without question to meet me, and we joined up at the train station.

It's really simpler for me that way. Walking to school just for this ... and, anyway, I don't want to look at the buildings that I had Yuki-chan destroy right away.

Mikuru arrives first. "Hello, Kyon," she says brightly, giving me a friendly smile. "Is Suzumiya-san doing better?"

"Are you playing with me?" I ask, raising an eyebrow at her. She looks bewildered. "Or did you.... Well, wait a minute. There's Koizumi."

"Hello, Kyon," Koizumi says pleasantly. "Is it good news, since you didn't say more on the phone?"

I nod; Yuki-chan arrives last, preceded by a tingle. "Let's go somewhere we can talk." My stomach rumbles then, and I wince.

"The cafe," Koizumi suggests with a gesture. "My treat this time."

"Good idea." A few minutes later, we're settled into a corner booth, Mikuru to my left, Yuki-chan to my right, and Koizumi just past her. Once the waitress is gone, I ask, "How much of the last week did I manage to undo?"

Koizumi and Mikuru look equally puzzled. Yuki-chan sips at her soda wordlessly. "Did something happen?" Koizumi ventures.

"If ...it was something, I won't.... That is, until...." Mikuru trails off and shrugs apologetically.

"I guess that must really help from an observer's standpoint," I sigh. "Well, that's okay. I made a backup. Yuki-chan?"

She sets her empty glass down -- that girl loves her sugar -- and looks at me. "Modifications have been made to you," she assesses.

"Don't undo them," I say quickly. "Or.... Well, actually, once you retrieve the backups, I guess I don't need them anymore."

I haven't noticed much tingling yet anyway. She gives that tiny nod and says, "Accessing. This may take a few minutes."

It does; we have time to order our meals and make some small-talk before Yuki-chan abruptly blinks. "Oh," she says quietly.

"Well?" Koizumi asks expectantly.

"I can arrange for memories to be restored to you without damaging your current function," Yuki-chan tells him. "It may be likened to dreaming."

Then there's a bit of confusion while she explains things in her way, and I enjoy a nice bowl of pasta. When all is said and done, Koizumi shakes his head and says, "It was unnerving just knowing that the world _could_ have been created just a day ago. Knowing that it's _happened_.... Well, all I can say is that I'm grateful that Haruhi has chosen someone so reasonable to focus on."

"I concur," Yuki-chan adds.

Mikuru nods, smiling brightly. "And tomorrow," she adds, "we'll all visit Suzumiya-san together.

I nod, thinking of bringing Haruhi something. Something chocolate, she had said. "Anyway," I say, "I guess because of Yuki-chan, I remember that dream world." It's much easier to call it a dream; it never happened, now. "What happened here?"

The explanation plays out almost exactly like Haruhi reasoned it must have. Taniguchi was a would-be killer, and had planned to trick Haruhi into writing a suicide letter. Haruhi didn't fall for the story, which actually made sense -- the aliens who were going to take her away might not return her for hundreds of years. A suicide note would keep people from wondering, and aliens had to remain hidden.

But she had the entire Brigade waiting in the stairwell to cover her should anything go wrong. Which it did. Taniguchi hit her over the head with a bat, though apparently I managed to save her before he could do worse, fighting him off while Mikuru called an ambulance and Yuki-chan administered first aid. Koizumi helped me, and Taniguchi was with the police....

Not a happy ending for everyone, I suppose, but by the time I was headed home I felt a little better about it. Yuki-chan assured me that Taniguchi wasn't a human being sentenced to something terrible. He was a human-purposed contact interface like herself, and he would be deleted, like Ryouko. Though, they were also planning on being more subtle about it this time; his data link had been severed, which apparently leaves him little more than human.

Unsurprisingly, when I was about to board the train, Koizumi called me aside. "A moment," he said, nodding. "I suppose I'll dream tonight about what happened, if Nagato-san is right. And I don't have a reason to disbelieve her...."

"Of course," I say with a shrug. "But?"

"But.... If this really happened, and it wasn't just a delusion of Haruhi's that you got dragged into, there's three things I wish to say."

"Yeah?"

"Firstly ... you're a brilliant liar. I hope we are never enemies, and am glad to have you on my side."

I snort at that, but unfortunately, he's right. I was a pretty good liar, to deceive Haruhi like that.

"Secondly, I think you truly are the best for Haruhi ... and not just to handle situations like this. I think-"

"I'm ahead of you on that one," I say, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I really am."

"Oh. What are you planning on doing?"

I lick my lips and look away. "I know how she wants to hear it. But not tomorrow. Later. It will happen, though."

"Of course."

"And that third thing?"

That smile again.... "You're about to miss your train."

Smug, arrogant, egotistical.... I laugh, grinning at him, and back aboard before the doors shut. He waves. I wave back.

Then I turn and look out the window and think again about chocolates, and torn pages from notebooks that talk about love. And maybe another page that talks about love that hasn't been written down yet.

Because, you never really know, do you?

"Haruhi," I whisper to no one in particular, "you're unbelievable. But I believe in you anyway."

* * *

Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing. :)


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